A Life That's Good
by piratewench78
Summary: A sequel to "Back to Me Without You."
1. Chapter 1

_**Several people asked for a "what happens next" after the end of "Back to Me Without You." This is for you.**_

Deacon was at The Bluebird for a songwriter's night. Normally I would have gone too and sat at the bar, proudly watching him. But Maddie had a tummy ache and was crying for mama, so I reluctantly sent Deacon on his way. I couldn't leave Maddie with Tandy when she needed me.

Truth be told, it was actually nice to have some time to think. Maddie went to sleep pretty easily, all things considered, and it gave me time to think about the big plan I wanted to talk to Deacon about. I pulled on some sweats and one of his old flannel shirts and curled up on the couch.

I knew Deacon would come home tonight and, after we'd checked on Maddie and then made love like we did every night, he would tell me his number. 1,706 as of today. The number of days he'd been sober. That was our ritual, every night before we went to sleep. 1,706. I knew the number too, but I never got tired of hearing him say it out loud. It was his promise to me, that he was in this for the long haul. I was so proud of him. I'd been scared in the beginning. When I left Teddy and showed up at Deacon's to tell him about Maddie, I was terrified, wondering if I'd done the right thing. He hadn't been out of rehab that long, but once he was back in Nashville, I couldn't keep Maddie a secret from him. I felt like I had to take a chance. I spent close to a year mentally crossing my fingers, watching him. I finally started to relax, but he never did. He always wanted to show me he could do this and I loved him all the more for it.

He'd been scared too, that day I came to him. Scared of being a dad, scared he would disappoint me again, scared it could all be taken away in an instant. He wasn't sure he was ready for all of it, but we talked about it. A lot. It was important to me that if he ever felt overwhelmed, ever felt close to the edge, that he would tell me. And that we would figure it out together. There were a handful of times that I would have to step away, spend the night at Tandy's so he could get himself under control. Cole would be there for him and usually in a day or so he would call me to tell me Deacon had gotten through it and I could come home.

Home. I smiled to myself. This was the home I'd been searching for. The home that Deacon, Maddie and I had created these past four years. Deacon had gotten stronger every day and now 1,706 days in, he rarely felt like he couldn't handle things. Now that Maddie was four and could talk to us and had her own little personality, she and Deacon had grown very attached. I loved watching the two of them together, in their own daddy-daughter world. She would snuggle into his side as he sang to her or read to her or just talked to her. And periodically they would look towards me and smile, as if to say "we haven't forgotten you." But it was ok. Because Maddie had been the one that reminded Deacon every day that this, being sober and healthy, was worth doing.

* * *

After I went and checked on Maddie, I fixed myself a cup of tea. I sat on the couch with my legs drawn up under me and sipped it. Deacon had started this regular gig at The Bluebird a couple months earlier, when the last tour was over. Every third Thursday. It was a good outlet for him, because there were a lot of songs he wrote that weren't quite the right tone for me, but were still great songs that deserved to be heard. I still nudged him a little about going out on his own, but he always said he was happy with things the way they were. When we were out on the road, Maddie went with us, and I have to admit that having our little family together was heaven. And selfishly, I liked having Deacon with me. Now that I had him back and he'd been sober for all these years, I wanted to enjoy every moment.

I smiled to myself as I thought about him right now. In the Round nights were great opportunities for songwriters to show off their songs and to interact with each other. Deacon would always do at least one or two of the songs that we wrote together; the crowd would always expect it. I know that there were times when I was there that people wondered why I didn't get up and sing with him, but I didn't want to overshadow him there. This was his time to shine and I just wanted to support him. I was happy that he had developed a bit of a following and so I knew he would be home late, after chatting up some of his fans. The songwriters always had a bit of a competition going to see who could do the best job of filling up The Bluebird. The nights Deacon played were fast becoming a pretty hot ticket.

I set down my empty tea cup and stretched out on the couch. In my head I heard the words of the song that Deacon had written for me, about me, all those years ago. _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me/And a family that always calls me home/Four wheels to get there, enough love to share/And a sweet, sweet, sweet song/At the end of the day, Lord I pray, I have a life that's good._ I definitely had a life that was good. I wasn't sure it was going to happen, but it had. I had taken a risk this last time, but it had surely paid off. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

* * *

"Ray." I groaned a little. "Rayna." I struggled to open my eyes and then I smiled sleepily at Deacon. He smiled back at me. "Wake up, sleepyhead," he said.

I rolled over on my back and stretched my arms over my head. I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but I guess I had. "How was it?" I asked.

He knelt down on the couch and laid over me, nudging my legs slightly apart so that he could lay in between them. I caught my breath as I felt him hard against my core. The man sure knew how to wake me up. "It was a good night," he said, his voice rough, in between little kisses on my neck. "Good crowd. But I was ready to get home." He moved his hips and gently started to rub against me.

I groaned and bent my knees, drawing my legs up slightly so that he hit me right in my sweet spot. I wound my arms around his neck and drew him in for a kiss. I could feel the pressure building and that exquisite tension flooding through me. I moved my own hips against him. "Oh, babe, I'm so glad you're home," I breathed into his mouth.

I could feel him smile. "You need me, huh?" he teased. He lifted himself up slightly with one arm and slid the other hand into the waistband of my sweats, sliding it down and through my wetness. I caught my breath and he moaned. He slid two fingers inside me, which made me groan again. Then he pulled out. "Let's go to bed," he said, his voice filled with desire.

I nodded and let him get up, then help me up. Twice on the way to the bedroom, he would stop and draw me against him, pressing himself hard into my ass and sliding his hand down my pants. It was always this way with us and I was glad it still was. We tried to be more careful now. After all, we had a young, impressionable daughter and, while it was fine for her to see our closeness, it probably wouldn't be a good thing for her to see us in the middle of sex. By the time we got to the bedroom, we were both in a frenzy for each other. He slid my pants down and as I stepped out of them, he was unbuckling his belt and unzipping his own pants. With a loud groan, he pushed me down on the bed and slid inside me quickly, without even undressing. When we were both satisfied, we lay there with our arms around each other and laughed.

"Mm, that was good," I murmured. "But maybe next time we get all the way undressed?"

Deacon smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. "I like the way you think." And so we finished undressing, but before we even got under the covers, he was running his hands over my breasts and then down between my legs again. I never got tired of this. When we finally were under the covers, spooning each other, breathing hard and feeling complete, he whispered in my ear, "One thousand seven hundred and six."

I smiled as he said it and then said, as I always did, "I'm so proud of you, babe." But this night, instead of just drifting off to sleep, I turned in his arms to face him, looking deep into his questioning eyes. "Deacon," I said softly. "I want another baby."


	2. Chapter 2

Deacon was surprised when I told him I wanted another baby. He took a breath. "What?"

I snuggled a little closer. "I want us to have another baby."

He moved to lay on his back and ran his hand over his mouth. "Seriously?"

I propped myself up on my elbow and lightly ran my fingers over his chest. "Seriously. I mean, I grew up with a sister, you grew up with a sister. I just want Maddie to have a brother or sister. I don't want her to grow up being an only child."

Deacon was quiet for a minute. "But everything seems so good right now," he said finally.

"It'll just get better." I wondered what was really bothering him. "Why don't you want to do this?"

He hitched his breath and turned to look at me. "It's not that," he said. "It's just that I don't remember making Maddie with you. And I'll remember this. And it feels…I don't know, weird somehow."

I reached up and ran my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about that, babe. I really am."

"I'm not mad, Ray. But this is a pretty big deal."

"Well, think about it this way. You were with Maddie practically from the day she was born. That's the most important thing. All the stuff that leads up to that, well, it's not all so pretty."

He rolled back on his side and put his arm around my waist. "Rayna, you were beautiful when you were pregnant," he said softly. "When I saw you that day in the park, I was so turned on by you. You just looked so beautiful."

I blushed, even though he couldn't see that in the dark. "Oh, Deacon, no. I was so big then."

He pulled me closer. "You had a baby inside you. That made you even more beautiful than you already were."

I smiled. "Well, then, you'd get to see me that way for nine months." I kissed him lightly. "One thing to think about is that while we're trying, we can make love. A lot."

He kissed me and turned us so that I was underneath him. "Then let's start practicing now," he said with a chuckle.

* * *

We'd been rehearsing for two weeks getting ready for my next tour when I woke up one morning feeling like I had the flu. I racked my brain trying to think if I'd been around anyone who'd been sick. I worried about Maddie catching something from me. Then I considered that maybe she had picked up something at pre-school and given it to me. All of a sudden the nausea overtook me and I jumped from the bed running for the bathroom. After I had brushed my teeth, I slunk back to the bed. Deacon looked concerned.

"You ok, baby?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. I must have the flu." I crawled back in bed and snuggled up next to him. He kissed the top of my head and then he reached under the covers and ran his hand over my breast. I sucked my breath in. I felt a mix of arousal and a vague soreness. He kept at it, occasionally cupping it, but not really moving on from that, which was a little confusing. I looked at his face and saw that he was frowning. "What's wrong, babe?"

He took a deep breath, then moved his hand from my breast and rubbed it over his mouth. His eyes got wide and he looked at me with what looked a little like fear. He was worrying me. Had he felt something? "Ray, are you sure you aren't pregnant?"

Pregnant! Of course, we'd been trying, but I hadn't really expected it to happen this fast. But then, who was I kidding? All it had taken was one night with Deacon to get pregnant with Maddie. I laughed. "You might be right," I said. "What made you think so?"

His look of fear turned to one of lust and he reached again for my breast, this time running his thumb over my nipple and running his fingers over my skin in the way he knew got me hot and bothered. "Well, you got sick this morning. And then the girls," and he smiled and cupped my breast, "well, they're bigger." Then he ran his hand down to my stomach and ran his hand over it gently. "And you're getting a tummy."

I gasped. "Already?" He nodded. Then I narrowed my eyes at him. "How do you know about this stuff anyway?"

He smiled, then leaned in to kiss me. "I read." He shrugged. "I thought I needed to know about all this." He kissed me again. "I wasn't there the first time, so I thought I might need to get educated." He leaned in to kiss me again, this time sliding his tongue in my mouth, inviting me to do the same. And he moved his hand from my stomach and reached around my hip, pulling me towards him. I lifted my leg and hooked it behind him and he slid into me. Oh, this never stopped feeling good. I let myself relax into the moment, feeling him inside me, filling me up, taking me over the edge one more time.

When we were laying there facing each other, my leg still holding him close to me, our breathing heavy, I smiled. "I guess I should think about doing a pregnancy test to be sure." He leaned in and rubbed my nose with his. "How does this make you feel?" I asked. The one thing I had worried most about was what he had said so casually when I'd asked him how he could tell I was pregnant. He hadn't been there for any of my pregnancy with Maddie, except for that day I'd seen him in the park not long before Maddie was born. But he hadn't been a part of any of it and I was afraid he would resent me for that as we experienced this pregnancy together.

"I'm happy, Ray," he said softly, rubbing my back. "Really happy."

* * *

I went to the nearest drug store and picked up a pregnancy test. And then a couple more. Just in case. When I got home, Deacon was singing to Maddie. He stopped and looked at me. I held up the bag. "I'll be back in about five minutes," I said. He nodded and I hurried to the bathroom.

As I waited to see what the results were, I thought about when I had done this same thing when I was pregnant with Maddie. Things were a lot different then. Deacon was struggling with his drinking, he hadn't even remembered being with me the night Maddie was conceived. In some ways that seemed like such a long time ago and like it had happened to a different person. It had not been a completely unhappy time in my life, but it had been very unsettled. I hadn't thought about Teddy in a long time, but I still felt grateful that he hadn't turned his back on me then. The deal we'd made turned out to be an awful one, but I had really not known what to do. Deacon was in rehab, I was pregnant, and I didn't know what options I had. Teddy had offered a safe place to land and, for a while at least, it had seemed like a good place to be. But, as always, just seeing Deacon again was enough to turn my whole life upside down. I had made a decision that a lot of people thought was foolish, but it had turned out to be the best decision of my life. And now I was waiting to see if Deacon and I were going to have another baby.

The last time I'd done this I had dreaded the result. I had cried tears of fear and worry. I hadn't felt so joyful that time. But this time would be different. I wanted to have Deacon's baby and I was so happy to be able to do it _with_ him this time, instead of hiding it from him. It was time. I reached for the stick and held it up. There it was. A clear plus sign. I was pregnant! Suddenly I was crying, but this time it was tears of happiness. I reached down and put my hand on my ever so slightly rounded stomach. _A baby! Deacon and I were going to have a baby!_ I couldn't wait to tell him the news.

I got up and walked out to the living room. Deacon stopped his singing and looked at me. Maddie turned and looked at me too. I burst into tears and waved the stick, nodding my head and grinning like a fool. Deacon slowly put his guitar down, got up and walked over to me. He gathered me in his arms and kissed me. When he pulled back, I could see the tears in his eyes and he was smiling. "Are you happy?" I asked.

He kissed me again. "I'm happy, baby. So happy."

And then Maddie jumped up and came running over to us, jumping up and down and patting our legs. "What? What?" she cried.

We turned to look down at her and then Deacon picked her up and gave a big kiss on the cheek. "Mama's going to have a baby, Maddie," he said with a big smile on his face. "We're going to have a baby."

I watched her face as she processed that, not sure how she would respond. And then she clapped her little hands and yelled "Yay!" I smiled at her and then Deacon and I smiled at each other. I felt so happy, so complete. This was such a perfect day.


	3. Chapter 3

Tandy was coming by to take me shopping for new maternity clothes. The ones I had from when I was pregnant with Maddie were boring, Belle Meade pregnant lady clothes. I wanted things this time that were more my style. I wasn't sure Tandy would know what that was exactly, but it was a chance for us to have a fun day. I was at the point where everything I owned was snug and it felt like any day now I would put on a pair of jeans or a skirt and not be able to zip them up. I didn't remember showing this much this early with Maddie, which kind of freaked me out a little until Dr. Norris told me it was normal for a second pregnancy.

I tried on what seemed like hundreds of pants and skirts, trying to find something that fit. Deacon found me sitting on the bed in my underwear, holding my favorite skirt, crying. Clothes were scattered all around the room and his eyes widened in surprise. He came and sat next to me, putting his arm around me. "What's wrong, Ray?" he asked.

I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Nothing fits," I sobbed. "I'm fat."

I could feel him shaking with laughter. "Baby, you're not fat," he said gently. "You're pregnant." He put his hand over my stomach, which felt huge to me. "You're beautiful."

"You're just saying that to be nice," I cried.

He shook his head. "I'm saying it because it's true." He slid his hand into the waistband of my panties and snaked his hand down. "You look sexy," he whispered in my ear.

I squirmed a little. He was actually making me feel sexy right then. But Maddie was in her room and she could come running in at any moment. He slid his fingers down a little further and I rocked back and forth for just a second, enjoying the swirl of pleasure that was building inside me. Then I grabbed his wrist. "We'll have to save this for later," I whispered.

Reluctantly he moved his hand. "It's a date," he murmured in my ear. "Now go find some sexy mama clothes," he said with a smile.

I found a dress that was still reasonably comfortable and was ready when Tandy got there. I hugged Maddie and then Deacon before I left. I held Deacon a little longer just because I appreciated how good he made me feel. He knew I felt awkward and unattractive and he did everything he could to let me know that I was still desirable and that he thought I was gorgeous. Who wouldn't love a man who did that?

* * *

Tandy and I hit as many boutiques as we could in an afternoon that sold maternity clothes. She tried to get me to buy some more conservative outfits, but I was satisfied with my purchases. My tour was starting in two weeks and we had also stopped by my stylist's loft and went through some fittings. She had designed or pulled together quite an array of outfits for on stage that would accommodate my tummy throughout the tour while still giving me my signature denim and rhinestones look. The only part that made me sad was giving up my stilettos for ballet flats. But it made me nervous to think about prancing around on stage in high heels when I got a little further along. The best part of the day had been that I was out with my sister. Now we were looking for a place for lunch.

When we were settled at a table and had tea in front of us, I said "This was nice, babe. Thanks for going shopping with me."

Tandy smiled. "I had a good time. I think you got some pretty clothes."

Sitting down in the dress I was wearing made the material stretch tight across my stomach. I always hated how my tummy seemed to pooch out more when I was sitting then when I was standing. This was a tad uncomfortable, so I was happy to think I could wear something more comfortable after today. "I think Deacon will be happy that I've got some new clothes. Poor guy didn't know what to make of me crying in the middle of my entire wardrobe."

Tandy reached for my hand. "You seem really happy, babe."

I nodded. "I _am_ happy, Tandy. I'm so proud of Deacon for making it one thousand eight hundred twenty five days now. Over four years! I wasn't sure he'd ever do that, but he has. Even you have to be impressed."

Tandy nodded. "I am. I didn't think he could do it. I'm even more impressed that you know how many days it's been. But you know it's not like he's cured. Something could set him off at any time."

I frowned. "Stop it. I think he's proven that he wants this. That he's committed to this and to Maddie and me. I wish you'd just accept that. I thought we'd gotten past all that."

Tandy sighed. "We have. But I'll always worry, sweetheart. It's what big sisters do. Especially when their baby sister lets her heart rule her decisions. I have to be the voice of reason."

I shook my head. "No, you really don't. Although I guess you won't stop doing it." I rubbed my stomach. This dress was uncomfortably tight all of a sudden, it felt like. Changing the subject, I said, "After we eat, can we stop by your place and let me change into one of my new outfits? This dress is a whole lot tighter than I thought it was. My stomach must have grown just this afternoon!"

Tandy smiled briefly. "Well, you _are_ wearing something that's not for a woman in your condition. Not surprising."

"I just can't believe how huge I am at twelve weeks."

"Oh, sweetheart, you are not huge. You hardly show." She cocked her head to one side. "Has Deacon said something that makes you feel that way?"

I scowled at her. "Of course not. He never says that kind of thing." I sighed. "I guess it's just me. I want to be sexy for him and I just don't feel sexy."

Tandy smiled her saucy smile. "Oh, I see. Well, I can tell you, babe, that I have never seen Deacon look at you when he didn't look like he wanted to throw you down on a bed and have his way with you. Even now. You two can hardly keep your hands off each other. I'm guessing you're still having sex every night, probably more than once."

I gasped and blushed. "Tandy!" She was always so much more out there about sex and talking about sex. I wasn't sure I wanted to discuss my sex life with Deacon like that.

Tandy winked and smiled. "I'm right, though, aren't I?"

I looked away, but I couldn't help but smile. "I guess. That's never been our problem." I looked back at her. "But I love him, Tandy. With my whole heart. All I have to do is look at him and it makes my whole day. I really do wish you'd understand that." Just then, our food came and when the server left, we moved on to more mundane topics.

* * *

Tandy dropped me off after I had changed at her house. Even though I wasn't completely ready to wear maternity clothes, my mood really was lifted by wearing clothes that were comfortable. So I had a huge smile on my face when I walked in the house. Deacon was in the kitchen and I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him.

"Hey, babe."

He turned to face me and then he took a step back, a look of surprise on his face. "That's not what you wore when you left," he said.

I shook my head. "No, it's not. I went by Tandy's and changed. That dress was so tight." I turned around slowly so he could see the new jeans and long sleeved eyelet baby doll top. "Do you like it?"

He had kind of a strange look on his face and then he nodded. "Yeah, baby, you look great," he said quietly. He put one hand on his waist and the other covered his mouth. His eyes looked pained.

"Deacon, what's wrong?" He was scaring me. This was not the reaction I was expecting.

"I…um." He stood looking at me for a moment, looking down at my stomach covered with the light, flowing material. He put both hands on his waist for a minute, then he turned and walked outside.

I stood at the counter, resting my hands on it as I breathed in and out slowly. I couldn't figure out what was bothering Deacon. Was it the clothes? I felt a shiver of unease crawl up my back. Finally I walked out to find him sitting on the stoop, staring off at nothing. I sat down next to him, not touching him. "What's going on, babe?" I asked quietly.

He didn't look at me, just rubbed his face with his hands. I waited him out. Finally he said, "It just really kind of hit me in the gut about missing all this with Maddie. I thought I was doing ok with it, but maybe I'm not."

I felt a shiver of worry. Deacon hadn't withdrawn like this in a long time. I wondered if he was feeling a little out on the ledge. I watched his face and could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw, hear the hitch in his breath. He still wasn't looking at me and I felt a huge lump in my throat. "Do you need some space?" I asked him quietly.

He hunched his shoulders and looked down at the ground, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. "I don't know," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around my waist and breathed in slowly, trying to fight the tears that threatened me. "Do you need me to call Coleman?" I asked over the lump in my throat. It had been such a long time since we'd been in this place. I'd almost forgotten what it was like for Deacon to fight the need for a drink or a pill.

He leaned forward and rubbed his face with the heels of his hands. Then he sat up and finally turned to look at me. His eyes were red and sorrowful. The look on his face broke my heart. Then he reached out and put one hand on my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. "I just need you, Rayna," he said finally.

I felt tears spill down my own cheeks. "I'm right here, babe," I said softly, covering his hand with mine and leaning into his. "What do you need?"

He reached for me and pulled me against his side. Then he took his left hand and ran it down over my stomach and then under the blouse, resting it there. I put one arm around his waist and covered his hand with my own and we sat there for a long time, while he buried his face in my hair, breathing in deeply. Finally he whispered against my hair, "I love you, Ray."

"I love you, too," I whispered back.

He took a deep, ragged breath, then said, "I have never been happier in my life, Rayna, than right now. I'm just sad to have missed all this when you had Maddie. When I saw you…like this, it just reminded me of all that."

I turned slightly and put my hands on either side of his face and leaned in to kiss him softly. I realized this really was all new for him. "I'm sorry you missed it, too. I thought about you every single day and I wished you were there with me for every minute of it. But I don't think you would love Maddie any more than you do now if you'd been there then. And I know she wouldn't love you any more than she does now. I'm just so happy we get to go through it together this time."

Deacon looked deep in my eyes and then he got up, reaching his hand out to help me up. We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other and then he reached for me and folded me into his embrace. I held him tightly, breathing in slowly, while he ran his hands slowly over my back and rested his head on top of mine. When he pulled back, he leaned down and kissed me. Then he took a step back, took my hand and led me back in the house.

I kept my eye on him, but he seemed to shake off the melancholy. We had a fun night giggling with Maddie and watching kids' movies. Later that night, we laid in bed, snuggled up to each other, and he said softly in my ear, "One thousand, eight hundred twenty five."

Tears rolled down my face. "I am so, so proud of you, babe," I said, today maybe more than any day in a very, very long time. I still thought there was something else bothering him, but I wanted to let him tell me when he was ready. For now, though, we seemed okay and that was enough for me.


	4. Chapter 4

Deacon seemed in good spirits the next day. We headed to Sound Check for rehearsal and to meet with my manager, Bucky, to go over tour details and plan out the set lists. My drummer's sister Haley was there to watch Maddie. She had taken on the role of tour nanny for me since I'd had Maddie. Maddie adored Haley, which was great, and it allowed Deacon and me to do what we needed to do on the tour and also to have some alone time.

I sat at the table waiting for Bucky. I could see Haley with Maddie over in a corner, reading her a story. I smiled to myself seeing Maddie happy and occupied. Maddie had always been a serious child, well-behaved and pretty adaptable. I had stayed off the road almost a year after she was born. Not only did I want to have time to learn to be a mama, but I thought it was important for Deacon and me to have quiet time to heal our relationship and for him to work through all the emotions that came with finding out Maddie was his daughter. I didn't plan on taking as much time off after this baby came. I hoped he or she would be as easy as Maddie had been.

Dr. Norris had told me that every pregnancy was different and so far, that was true for me. I had amazingly only had a couple weeks of morning sickness with this one, compared with almost my first trimester with Maddie. I actually felt really good and more energetic, so I felt very confident about being able to do this tour. Dr. Norris had given her approval, so long as I took naps and didn't overdo, but my plan was for us to tour up through my seventh month and then I was willing to take a break. Bucky and Deacon were both a little hesitant, but it was my decision and I felt good about it.

I watched Deacon as he worked with some of the band members. I was glad to have him leading my band and being my partner. I knew that many people thought, since he was technically my employee, that I called all the shots and that he was not my equal. But I relied on him for everything and he always had an equal say in what we did and how we did it. He was truly a partner.

I smiled as I watched him. As I focused on his hands on the guitar, showing one of the other guitar players a riff sequence, I thought about those hands teasing me that morning. Sliding over my breasts, tweaking my nipples, then running his fingers down over my stomach, pausing briefly to spread his hand over me, then moving down between my legs. I felt that warm tingle as I remembered him sliding his fingers inside me, taking his time with me, making my toes curl with the need for release. I remembered begging him to let me come, but he continued to tease, until finally he covered me with his body and entered me.

"Hey, Rayna," Bucky said as he sat down next to me.

I exhaled slowly, startled out of my daydreams. I wondered if my face had turned red. "Oh, hey, Buck," I said, trying to gain control over my emotions. Although Bucky was just ten years older than me, he had always seemed kind of fatherly and it felt a little like my father had just caught me doing something naughty.

Bucky smiled and winked. "You look like you were deep in thought."

I shrugged and looked away. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Bucky looked up towards the stage. "Hey, Deacon!" he called out. Deacon turned towards us and gave a nod of recognition to Bucky. "I've got some updates," he went on. Deacon took his guitar off and walked down to where we were sitting. He took the chair opposite me. Bucky pulled out some papers. "So, I've got good news. Every venue has sold out." He looked between the two of us and smiled.

That _was_ good news. I smiled. "Great! I knew that curiosity would get people to buy tickets." Deacon frowned at me.

Bucky shook his head. "I still think you could cut this tour a few weeks short and we'd be more than fine." Deacon nodded his agreement. This had been a battle we'd had since I found out I was pregnant. We were already cutting the tour short as it was and they wanted me to do even less dates.

I rolled my eyes. "Look, y'all, I'm fine. My doctor says I'm fine. I don't know why y'all are so worried. I already said I would stand still while I sing." I flipped my hand at them. "If Wynonna Judd can tour eight months pregnant, so can I." I saw their looks. "And I'm not touring in my eighth month. Calm down. Besides, I worked the last time I was pregnant."

Bucky shook his head. "You were working on an album, Rayna, not a tour." He sighed. "You don't have to do this. You're in excellent shape financially and your fans would definitely understand."

"No. My fans want to see me. Even big and pregnant, they want to see me. Maybe even because of that, I don't know, but I do this for them. I'm already taking time off when I really should be touring, so I want to do this as long as I can." I could see the concerned looks and I understood, but it was my call. "I promise, I'll tell y'all if I feel like I can't do it, but right now, we're moving ahead as planned." I crossed my arms and looked at each of them firmly.

Deacon ran a hand over his face and gave me that look that said he was giving in, but he wasn't happy about it. "I'm going to keep a close eye on you," he said.

I smiled at him. "Oh, I know you will," I said with a wink. He glared at me and I just kept on smiling.

"Well, ok then, let's rehearse," Bucky said. And we did.

* * *

The bus left early one morning headed for Boston, where we were starting the tour. When Haley took Maddie to the little enclosed bunk we had for her so that she could take a nap, Deacon and I took advantage of the time and headed for our room at the back of the bus. We quickly and hungrily undressed each other and then Deacon had his way with me, as Tandy called it. And then after an intense, heavy make out session, he had his way with me again.

I laid back against the pillows, breathing hard. Deacon lay on his side next to me. He put his hand on my stomach and spread his fingers over it. At nearly fifteen weeks, I already felt huge. But Deacon had been fascinated by everything about my changing body. It was hard not to think about being pregnant with Maddie. Teddy had not been as interested, probably because he knew she wasn't his. I know it had to have been a strange feeling for him to watch me get bigger with someone else's baby.

Deacon leaned down to kiss me and I smiled at him. He looked at me carefully and I thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking. "Tell me about when you were pregnant with Maddie," he said quietly.

Ah, there it was. We really hadn't talked much about it, but ever since the day I'd come home wearing new maternity clothes, I could tell he was working that over in his head. He'd been going to extra meetings and he had seemed more thoughtful. He'd spent more time running his hands over my body, particularly my breasts and stomach, as though he wanted to memorize their changing shape.

I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, then settled it on top of his hand where it lay on my stomach. "What do you want to know?"

He worked his lip for a moment. "Um, how did it feel, how did _you_ feel, that kind of thing."

I smiled. "Well, in the beginning I was so sick, not like this time. I felt terrible. But once that was past, it was really wonderful. At least until towards the end, when I just felt fat and huge." I made a face.

He took a deep breath. "Did you always know she was mine?"

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at him. I could see the pain there. I nodded. "I always knew it. In my heart. Teddy and I had always used protection, so I was sure."

He looked away and hitched his breath. "Did you…did you want to tell me?"

I nodded, as tears rolled down the side of my face. "I actually tracked you down at the cabin. After you'd left rehab. I wanted to tell you. But, you know, Tandy was with me and you were pretty wasted when we got there. And she talked me out of it. I was really scared, Deacon."

He nodded. I could see the tears streaking his face and then he turned and looked back at me. "I'm so sorry," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

I shook my head and reached for him to pull him close to me. "No. _I'm_ sorry. I wish I had been stronger then."

"No, Ray, you were right to do that. I was a drunk. I couldn't have done it then. I wish it hadn't had to be that way, but it was." He held me tightly.

"I wish I could make it up to you, Deacon, somehow. I wanted you with me every day back then."

He lifted his head and kissed me softly on the lips. Then he put his hand back on my stomach. "This is how you're making it up to me. Not that you needed to do that. But this feels right."

I nodded. "It is right. All of this is right." I turned on my side. He reached his hand down my thigh and pulled my leg up over his hip, then slid into me. I groaned. "Oh, God, babe, that feels so amazing," I murmured and let myself give in to the sensations and how good doing this felt.

Afterwards, as we were laying wrapped up in each other's arms and legs, he asked, a little hesitantly, "So, uh, what about sex?"

I laughed at his discomfort in asking. "I hope to keep having it every day until this baby comes," I said.

He looked at me and his eyes widened. "Really?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. I wanted it every single day when I was pregnant with Maddie." I looked away for a moment. "Didn't get it, but I wanted it."

"You didn't?"

I shook my head. "No. He wasn't really interested. I just took care of myself when it got to the point where I really needed it." I looked up at him and smiled. "And I imagined being with you."

* * *

It turned out that touring pregnant took more out of me than I had expected. I didn't have one of those high-powered shows with a lot of dancing and moving around the stage anyway, but even standing relatively in place wasn't as easy as that sounded. I had forgotten how hot the lights could be and, in my condition, I felt hotter than normal. We had to build in a short intermission so that I could change, since I seemed to sweat more than normal. Deacon hovered more and that started to annoy me, so we fought more.

We were five weeks into the tour, in Cincinnati, when I snapped. As was typical, our second encore was "Postcard from Mexico." Because it was a call-and-response song with Deacon, we had a little back and forth. I could feel a drop of perspiration run down my face and I could tell he'd seen it too. He frowned. It felt hotter than normal; _had they turned off the damn fans?_ We finished the song and I turned and waved to the audience, then headed off the stage.

As soon as we had cleared the side stage, Deacon was practically on top of me. "Rayna, are you ok?" he asked. He put his hand on the small of my back.

I whirled around to face him. "Where the fuck are the fans? Or did they put heaters out there by mistake?" I was shouting and everyone backstage turned to stare. Deacon looked shocked by my outburst and I could see him clench his jaw. I wasn't really mad at him, but I had no one else to take my frustration out on. "It's not like I don't have my very own personal heater right here" – I formed a circle with my hands right over my stomach – "so I don't get why no one can get the damn fan thing right!" I threw my arms up and stalked off towards the bus.

Thank God the bus driver had the engine going and the air conditioning on. I sat down in the very first row and picked up the hem of my top, waving it back and forth to generate a breeze. I could see that Deacon sat in the row across from me. I didn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me. No one, not even Bucky, said a word to me as they got on the bus. I leaned back and closed my eyes until we finally got to the hotel. I was having a major diva dip and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't do this often and usually I could snap out of it quickly, but I was so uncomfortable anyway and all I had asked for was plenty of fans to keep me reasonably cool onstage. How hard was that to manage? I just couldn't let it go. I found myself getting annoyed all over again.

I knew I was being childish and I was treating Deacon badly when it wasn't his fault. I was tired and I was cranky and I was hot as hell. When we got to the hotel, we rode up the elevator in silence. I knew I needed to say something to him, but now I was embarrassed and what I really wanted to do was cry. We got to our suite and I immediately went to the door that led to the adjoining room where Haley and Maddie were. I blew past Haley without a word and went into the room where my daughter was sleeping.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her. The light coming in from the other room was enough so that I could see her little body rise and fall rhythmically as she slept. She was wearing her favorite pink baby doll pajamas, her long dark hair spread out against her pillow. Just sitting beside her watching her breathe was calming. I reached out and touched her hand very softly. I was glad she was such a sound sleeper.

Just then a shadow crossed in front of the light. I turned and Deacon was standing there watching me watching Maddie. I knew he was worried about me and I felt tears prick at my eyelids. He walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I sighed and reached up to grasp his hand. He wrapped his fingers over mine and squeezed, then helped me stand up. I reached for him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing myself against him. He ran his hands over my back, resting his chin on my head. Finally he stepped back, took my hand and led me back to our room, nodding at Haley as we walked past her.

When we got back to our room and Deacon had locked the door, he turned to look at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I whispered, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and walked over to me. "Let's just take a shower," he said and he reached for the hem of my top and pulled it up and over my head. Then he pulled my pants down over my stomach and slid them down my legs. He put his fingers in the waistband of my panties and slid them down as well and I stepped out of them. After he removed my bra, he started to unbutton his own shirt, but I pushed his hands away and finished doing it and pushed his shirt off his chest and then slid it off him. I unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his pants. He helped me slide them down and then he took off his boxers. Taking my hand, we walked into the bathroom and he started a shower. As we stood waiting for the water to heat up, he leaned down and kissed me gently. In the shower, he soaped us both up and carefully ran the soap sponge over my body, holding my gaze the entire time, not saying a word. He was gentle and sweet and I felt so undeserving.

When we were done and he had wrapped me in a towel and dried me off, then himself, he led me, still without words, to the bed. He helped me in, then laid down next to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kisses until they got more insistent. His hands wandered over me, teasing me in the ways he knew I loved best and I moaned into his mouth with pleasure and with my increasing need. Finally he turned me the way he wanted and pushed into me and the diva dip was finally forgotten.

The last thing I remembered was him whispering, "One thousand, eight hundred and seventy nine."


	5. Chapter 5

We came home to Nashville two and a half weeks later for a ten day break. I didn't have another diva dip on the tour, although I still was more uncomfortable than I liked. But it was better and I didn't want to make another scene, so I tried to control any irritation I was feeling. I was pretty sure Deacon knew, but he was careful to follow my lead and I had to admit that he knew how to make me feel more in control. While we were in town I had scheduled my ultrasound. Deacon was coming with me and I had told him that we might be able to find out the sex of the baby and asked if he wanted to know. He just kind of shrugged and said he didn't care, that he just wanted to know the baby was ok. I definitely did though. I knew that babies weren't always in the right position to see that at an ultrasound; I had been warned about that when I was pregnant with Maddie. But she had cooperated and I hoped the new baby would as well.

Whenever Deacon and I talked about the baby, he was very reluctant to talk about whether it would be a boy or a girl. I couldn't get him to tell me if he had a preference. I always assumed that men would want boys, to take on the family name, to hunt or fish with them – not that Deacon hunted, but he did like to go fishing at the cabin. I smiled to myself thinking about him walking out to the lake with his fishing pole and Maddie trailing along after him with a little toy fishing pole. They would sit on the dock and Maddie would steal glances at her daddy and try to copy his every movement. She was quite a daddy's girl.

As I thought about how much Maddie adored Deacon, I felt a sudden wave of sadness come over me. Growing up, Tandy had always been Daddy's little girl. After Mom died, I had wanted Daddy to love me the way he did Tandy. I was always trying to impress him, but he never was as interested in the things I liked the way he was with my sister. Later on, I guessed it was because I looked so much like Mom and because I had inherited her love of music. I still didn't understand why he had been so against my wanting a career in music and why he had fought me all these years. He had never been to see me perform. Every time I played at the Grand Ole Opry, I would invite him, but he would stubbornly refuse to come. I felt the tears well up and I angrily brushed them aside. I would _not_ feel disappointment about Daddy. It was his loss.

Deacon and I had given Maddie a small guitar for her last birthday. She was so fascinated, and always had been, with Deacon's guitars. The one we gave her was a real one, just her size. Even though she was a child, she seemed to have been blessed with the gift of music. She would copy Deacon and could do simple chords on her own. She had a pretty singing voice, even as childlike as it was. I was conflicted as to how I felt about that. She clearly had gotten her love of music from Deacon and me. It was probably inevitable that a child of ours would have talent, even multiple musical talents. But knowing how hard this business was, and how random it could be that someone would make it big, worried me for her. What would happen if, one day, she came to us and said she wanted to be a performer? I wanted so much for her. I wanted her to have choices, choices that I felt like Deacon and I had not had. I definitely loved our life and I would never want to do anything else but this, but I worried about what might happen in her future.

The baby started kicking and that made me focus attention on him or her again. I rested my hand on my stomach, just feeling the movements. Would this baby be a musical baby too? Or something else entirely? I wondered again if Deacon wanted a son. He was a good father to our daughter, both sweet and fiercely protective. But would he like a son this time? Would he be disappointed if it were not? If I was honest, I wanted another girl. I loved all the girly stuff and I was happy that Maddie did too. It would be fun to have two girls to laugh with, to play dress up with, to share secrets with. Deacon had been very stubborn though in not committing to a preference. He didn't care, he said. But I wasn't completely sure that was true.

He was at another meeting. My signal these days that he was walking a fine line was an uptick in meeting attendance. Since I'd been pregnant, there had been more times when he seemed to need that extra support. I knew that it brought up all those old hurts and I worried. But I was also comforted by the fact that he sought out that kind of support and not the kind he used to find in the bottom of a whiskey bottle. He still told me his number every night, I think as much for himself as to let me know that he was keeping his promise to me.

I felt closer to him than ever these days. Going through this together this time was such a gift. Even though I knew he couldn't help but think about missing out on this with Maddie, he seemed to be fascinated by all the changes. I figured it was all the hormones going on in my body, but my desire for him had not changed at all. In fact, it seemed to have ramped up. I was just happy that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. As I got bigger, we had to be more creative, but that just seemed to make sex that much more exciting for both of us. I smiled to myself as I felt that quiver of need, even now.

I was waiting on the porch when he drove up. I got up from the porch swing and met him halfway down the walk. He smiled at me and wrapped me up in his arms, kissing me deeply. "Mm, missed you," he said against my mouth.

"Missed you too. Did you have a good meeting?"

He nodded. "I did." He looked in my eyes and then reached out to put a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I don't want you to worry. I'm ok."

I smiled. "I know. I'm just glad you're doing this."

He smiled back at me. "Are you ready to go?" I nodded and he took my hand, leading me back down the walkway to his truck. We didn't say much on the way to the doctor's office, just held hands. This could be a very big day.

* * *

The ultrasound technician prepped me and then turned on her machine. Deacon was standing next to my head, holding my hand. He had seemed very nervous, chewing his lip, rubbing his mouth, rocking back and forth. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. I knew this was a big deal for him and I was so glad he was there. The technician put the wand on my stomach and started to move it, periodically clicking to mark things. "Everything looks good," she said, as she worked. "The baby seems to be progressing normally. Heartbeat is strong." She looked at us with a smile. "Do you want to know the sex?"

I smiled and nodded, looking up at Deacon. He looked a little scared. "Deacon? Is it ok to find out the sex of the baby?" I asked. He looked at me with a little panic in his eyes and nodded, almost hesitantly. I wasn't sure why this spooked him, but I looked back at the technician and smiled. "Yes, we do."

She moved the wand around a little and then stopped. "You're in luck. A lot of times babies don't present themselves well enough to tell but yours apparently wants to show off." She pointed at the screen. "It's what we call the Hamburger Sign. There's the labial lips, in the shape of a bun, and there's the clitoris, like the meat." She looked back at us. "It's a girl."

"A girl! Maddie will be so happy!" I cried. I looked up at Deacon and he looked like he wanted to pass out. "Babe, are you ok?"

He looked at me. "How can a baby have…you know."

It took me a second to realize that he'd been a little freaked out by the technician using technical terms. I smiled at him. It _was_ a little odd to think of your baby with girl parts. "It's not like she's going to use them right away," I said.

Deacon frowned. "She's not going to use them _ever_." He exhaled deeply. "Maddie either."

I had to laugh at that. "Well, I think we have a long time before we have to worry about that with either one of them."

He shook his head, still scowling. "No. Never." I couldn't keep from smiling at him. I loved seeing this protective father side of him.

After the appointment was over, we picked up sandwiches and took them to the bend in the river where we liked to go. It was one of those gift summer days in Nashville, a warm, but not hot day, with little humidity and a light breeze. A nice day to be outside. We settled on the table and ate quietly. I was always hungry, it seemed like, and I felt like I inhaled my sandwich. Then I leaned against Deacon's side and he put his arm around me. "Are you ok with it being a girl?" I worried that he would be disappointed not to have a son.

He nodded. "I'm glad it's a girl."

That surprised me. "Really?"

"Yeah." All of a sudden he seemed like he was fighting tears. "I'd be afraid to have a son, Ray," he said quietly.

I sat up and turned to look at him. "Why, babe?"

He inhaled sharply and I could see tears in his eyes. He covered his mouth with one hand, grabbing mine with the other. I could see that he was fighting something and it scared me a little, not knowing what it was that was bothering him. Finally he moved his hand and looked at me. "I never told you about my father. But he was a drunk. Like me." Then he shook his head. "No, not exactly like me. Worse. But I wasn't far behind. He was mean, Ray. He hurt us. My mom, Beth, me. That was a really bad life."

I was shocked. Deacon had never told me about growing up or much about his life before I'd met him. I had met Beth, of course, and I knew they were very close, even though they didn't see each other often. I knew his parents were both dead, had been since before I'd met him. But I hadn't realized Deacon had grown up with a father who was an alcoholic. "But if you're not like him, why would you be worried?" I asked.

He struggled to keep from crying. I never understood that about men. Seemed to me that a good cry could help, but I guess that was one of the things that made us different. He inhaled deeply and ran his hand over his face. When he started talking, he didn't look at me, as though if he did, he'd lose control. "He used to tell me that I would be just like him. After he'd beat me for something I'd done. Or even if I'd done nothing at all, just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He beat up my mom. He beat up Beth. That's why she left home finally." He stopped and took in a ragged breath. "I was so afraid of him, Ray. He was a big man and pretty strong anyway, but when he was drunk, it was like he was Superman. He was ten times worse. He was a mean man period, but it was worse when he drank." He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "He drank whiskey. He even tried to get me to drink it, when I was a kid, but I wouldn't do it. He always told me that I would grow up to be just like him, that there was no way it wouldn't happen, so I was afraid. I was afraid to take even one sip because I was afraid I would like it. And that then I _would_ be just like him." He stopped for a minute to regain some control. It scared me to see him so close to the edge like this. I reached out and just rubbed his back as he continued. "And see, that was the thing. When I did try it one day, I did like it. He was passed out on the porch and there was a glass of whiskey on the table next to him. I had just turned sixteen. Beth had been gone a couple years. Every time he drank he would offer the bottle to me and then he'd laugh when I'd say no. So I thought, just that one time, I'd taste it and I'd hate it and that would be it. But I liked it. I liked the burn when it went down my throat, the heat in my gut, and when I'd drank the whole glass, I liked the buzz. And it scared the hell out of me."

"Oh, babe," I breathed. I'd had no idea.

He looked at me, his eyes red, his face full of pain and shame. "That's when I left. I couldn't stay there and have him taunt me with the fact that I was just like him. So I had to leave. And you know. I was a drunk. I am a drunk. Just like him."

I shook my head. "No, you're not just like him. You were never like that."

He frowned. "Yeah, I was. How many fights did you have to get me out of? How many times did you bail me out of jail? How many times did I smash a guitar or a kitchen full of dishes or an entire living room?"

I looked away. He was right. He'd done all of those things. He had been a mean drunk. I knew that. That was the reason I'd left him all those times. It was what had broken me, finally, and put me on the path that led to Teddy and that awful lie. It had nearly destroyed me, not physically, but mentally. It surprised me a little to realize how the last four years had erased so much about that time. But I felt it again. I felt the hopelessness and the fear, the pain and the hurt, as though it were yesterday. But he'd changed. He wasn't that person anymore.

"Rayna, I didn't want to be like him. I didn't want to do what he did. That was one reason I was scared to ever have a family. Why I never talked to you about it. I was so glad you never brought it up, because I wasn't sure I could handle it. I didn't want to even try." I could hear the hitch in his breathing as he struggled to control himself. "When you came to my house with Maddie, I was so scared. I was scared the whole first year of her life. I was so afraid I'd hurt her. I wake up every day, still, and I remind myself to not be my father. I love that little girl so much it hurts, and I would never want to do anything to disappoint her."

I started to cry. I hadn't realized the struggle he was going through. I understood so much more now about what he was feeling. All I wanted to do was make him understand that he wasn't his father, that he had succeeded in not being that person.

"I'm relieved, Ray," he went on. "Another girl. That makes all the difference. Maybe I could do it with a son, but I'm glad I don't have to. I tell myself that I'll never hurt a child, not the way my father did. I spend every day writing a different story for my life and this just makes it easier." He turned and looked at me with those puppy dog eyes that always melted my heart. He reached out and put his hand on my stomach. "This makes me strong. And you. You make me strong. It's all good."

I breathed out. Then I leaned in to him, put my hands on his face and drew him in for a long, lingering kiss. "Thank you for telling me, babe," I said, tears streaming down my face. "But just know that you are not your father, any more than I am mine. I'm so proud of everything you've done the last four years. You are _not_ your father." And we sat there for a long time, just holding each other and drawing strength from each other, just like we did every single day.


	6. Chapter 6

It turned out that having those ten days off was perfect timing. After Deacon told me about his dad and what he had gone through growing up, we went to the cabin with Maddie and just holed up for a few days. We spent some really good time together, just the three of us. I really felt like it helped him be able to see that he was definitely not the man his father told him he'd be and he was not that kind of father. I remembered walking out on the porch to find the two of them together, asleep on the porch swing. It had brought tears to my eyes. Deacon was so far from what his horrible father had been.

I was ready for the next six weeks. We were on our way to Denver, one of those long trips. I was feeling tired and went back to our room for a nap. As I drifted off to sleep, I smiled as I heard Deacon's laughter among the others and Maddie's squeals of pleasure. The next thing I remembered was being kicked awake. I smiled to myself, imagining that this new little girl was turning cartwheels or somersaults or something. Instead of getting up right away, I lay there and rubbed my stomach as the baby moved. I was actually enjoying being pregnant this time. I couldn't help but think a lot of that was because of Deacon, because of his excitement, just because he was there. With Maddie, although I was looking forward to her being born, all the circumstances were so confusing and painful. I knew that Teddy had loved me then, but the stress of knowing what was to come made life difficult.

I pushed myself up to a sitting position and leaned my head back, just focusing on the movements of the baby, thinking about how my life had changed that day that I had showed up on Deacon's porch. I remembered how I'd made the decision to leave. I packed a couple suitcases for me and then a few more for Maddie and put them in the car. I had gone to her room and picked her up. As I carried her into the den, I told her that we were going to see her daddy. I had strapped her into her car seat, then taken her out to the car. I got in myself and took a deep breath before I put my key in the ignition and had finally driven out of Belle Meade, around on the 440, then into East Nashville. I'd been so scared when I'd pulled out of the driveway, but the closer I got to Deacon's house the more sure I felt that I was doing the right thing.

* * *

At the beginning it had felt like us against the world. Starting with Teddy, who was predictably furious with me and with Deacon when he found my letter. Although the letter I had written thanked him for his generosity and acknowledged what he had done for me and for Maddie, he, of course, did not see it quite that way. He tracked me down at Deacon's and showed up one morning, no doubt to confirm that Deacon and I were living together.

Deacon answered the door, since I was in the bedroom feeding Maddie. I heard Teddy demanding to see me and Deacon trying to get him out of the house. Teddy accused Deacon of luring me away and told him that he would only hurt me in the end. Deacon fought back, telling Teddy that he had been underhanded in forcing me to lie about Maddie and threatening me if I told the truth. I was afraid they would come to blows, so I hurriedly put Maddie in her crib and, pulling my robe tightly around me, rushed out to the living room. I could hear Maddie crying, probably because of how tense I had seemed, and I gave Deacon a look that he understood meant that I needed him to go see to our daughter.

Teddy stood there with his hands on his hips, scowling at me. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Rayna?"

"Doing what I should have done in the beginning," I told him.

Teddy smirked. "What, throw your life away on a deadbeat drunk? Put our daughter in harm's way? Are you insane?"

I fumed. "He's not a deadbeat drunk, Teddy. He's sober."

Teddy laughed unkindly. "For how long, Rayna? And how many more times are you going to make a fool out of yourself putting him back in rehab?"

"Get out, Teddy. You need to leave. Right now." I was shaking with anger.

"Oh, I'll leave, but I'm going straight to my attorney. I don't have any problem divorcing _you_, but I'm going to get custody of Maddie. I'm not letting you put her life in danger."

I walked over and slapped his smug face. "You don't have any right to custody," I shouted at him.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me roughly towards him, then practically spat in my face. "I'm her father. It's my name on her birth certificate."

I pulled my wrist out of his grasp and glared at him. "All it will take is a paternity test, Teddy. We already know you're not her real father."

Teddy raised his eyebrows. "It's not going to be as simple as you think it is, Rayna. Besides, even if he is her biological father, he's not fit to be a father to anyone."

"Get the hell out of here, Conrad," came Deacon's low, measured voice. I turned and he was standing there, holding a sleeping Maddie, his face a thundercloud of anger. "Get out of my house."

Teddy grinned sarcastically. "Oh, I'm leaving," he said, pointing at Deacon. "But make no mistake, Deacon, I'm getting Maddie back. There's no judge in this state that would let you have her. Not a five-time loser."

Deacon started for Teddy, ready to go after him, but I grabbed his arm. "Deacon, no," I pleaded.

We stood and watched as Teddy left the house. Deacon looked down at me. "What are we gonna do, baby?" he asked, sadness crossing his face.

I frowned. "We're going to get that birth certificate changed so that you're Maddie's father. And then I'll divorce Teddy. You _are_ Maddie's real father. We can prove that easily. And then we are going to raise her. Together." I took Maddie from him and then he put his arms around us both and held us tightly.

* * *

It turned out not to be as simple as I thought it would be. Getting a paternity test on Deacon was easy and, of course, it turned out that he _was_ Maddie's biological father. Teddy protested the results and forced us to have a court-ordered DNA test. Ultimately he had to back down on the custody issue, but then he dragged out the divorce, seeking a settlement from me. Six months later, I finally had my divorce and felt like my life could move on. I worried about Deacon and all the stress this was creating for us. More than once, it was too much, and I had to leave him with Coleman and wait to see if he came through it. Every time I was afraid that it would send him back to the bottle, that he wasn't strong enough, that I had put too much pressure on him, but each time he showed up at Tandy's to pick us up, I felt such relief. And I finally began to believe that he was truly going to beat this this time.

* * *

I had been divorced for nine months when Deacon asked me to marry him. In all the years we'd been together we'd never really talked seriously about getting married. I didn't need a piece of paper to say that I belonged to him, but, after going through the whole getting married thing with Teddy, I realized that it did mean something to commit to each other in a more formal way. But I didn't want to pressure Deacon and, truth be told, I would probably still have gone on as we were – happily – forever. I still didn't need that marriage license to prove my commitment to him.

I also knew that he needed to do things on his own timetable. He was committed to making sobriety work this time and I knew that he had a plan for how everything would play out. I was proud of him, that he was making this work. That was what was important. After all the unpleasantness with Teddy and him dragging out the divorce and trying to gain custody of Maddie, it was nice to just nest with Deacon and our daughter. To work on building a life for our family, one day at a time.

On a beautiful April day when we were on a break from my latest tour, we put Maddie in her stroller and went to East Park. We sat on a bench, not talking much, just sitting close and enjoying the day. I leaned my head on Deacon's shoulder and sighed happily. He turned his head to look at me with a smile and then he kissed my forehead.

He cleared his throat. "So, Ray," he started. I sat up and looked at him. He took my hand and looked deeply into my eyes. "So, I think it's time for us to do this."

"Do what?" I felt a little quiver of anticipation.

"Make it all official. You and me. I mean, we've been together for so long, but now we have a daughter. I think we need to officially be a family."

I took a breath. I had told him, of course, about the first proposal, the night Maddie was conceived. I had told him when I let him know Maddie was his. We had never talked about it again, because it was painful for him. I'd never told him about the ring, or shown it to him, and he'd never asked about it. I decided he didn't even remember giving it to Coleman, probably didn't even know it existed. Another casualty of his disease. I wanted us to move forward and bringing up old stuff didn't seem to be the way to do that. "We _are_ a family, Deacon," I said.

He nodded. "Yeah, we are. But I want to marry you, Ray." He laughed. "I want to make an honest woman out of you."

I couldn't help but laugh as well. We had been pretty open about everything surrounding my leaving Teddy and moving back in with Deacon. Because of the custody issue, it became common knowledge that Deacon was Maddie's father. It had been a tough PR issue to deal with and caused some ruffled feathers with both my fans and the label. But things had settled down and it seemed my fans had forgiven me and the label had weathered the storm. My last album went double platinum and I had a sold out tour, so the firestorm didn't last long. "You're so sweet, Deacon," I teased.

He leaned in and kissed me. "I'm serious. Marry me, Rayna."

I felt the rush of tears. I watched him reach in his pocket and pull out a ring. Very different from the ring he'd given me at the cabin, this one was a thin band covered with tiny diamonds. His hands were shaking as he slid it on my finger. "Oh, Deacon," I breathed.

He looked up at me. "I love you, Rayna. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"

I nodded and then leaned in to kiss him. "I would love to marry you." I held my hand up and admired the ring. "This is beautiful," I said.

He smiled. "It's called an eternity band. I thought it was appropriate."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his chest, tears rolling down my cheeks. "It is, babe," I whispered. He put his arms around me and held me close. Everything seemed to be going our way. I couldn't have been happier.

* * *

We didn't really want a big, fancy wedding, although Deacon told me I could have one if I wanted. When Teddy and I got married, I was almost four months pregnant and already showing a bit and we got married in our Sunday best in front of a judge. When I was a little girl I used to dream of the big, princess wedding, with the beautiful white dress and flowers everywhere. But these days that kind of over-the-top stuff didn't appeal to me. Deacon let me plan everything. The only thing he asked was that he not have to wear a suit or a tux, although I thought he would look amazingly gorgeous in either one.

We got married in Tandy's courtyard on a beautiful sunny early summer afternoon. It wasn't too hot and there was a very light breeze. We only had very close friends and a few family members there. Deacon's sister Beth and her daughter Scarlett came. Daddy refused to come, which was ok with me, so Tandy was the only family there for me. She helped me pick out my dress, an ivory eyelet sundress. Close to white, but not completely. Deacon did wear a jacket over a white shirt and black jeans. Maddie wore the sweetest pink dress and a bow in her hair.

Deacon held Maddie as we said our vows to each other and to her. She giggled and waved her tiny arm through the whole ceremony, making us both smile. At the end, when Deacon kissed me, he put his arm around my waist and pulled me in close. He smiled and then he gave me a deep, lingering kiss, while Maddie tangled her hand in my hair. "I love you, Ray," he whispered against my mouth.

"I love you too, babe," I said, tears in my eyes. I reached a hand up and put it around his neck, running my fingers through his hair and pulling him back to me for another kiss. Then Maddie yanked hard on my hair and I pulled back, laughing. "I think somebody doesn't like not being the center of attention," I said and everyone laughed, while Maddie clapped her hands with glee.

I watched as Deacon nuzzled her neck, causing her to squeal with laughter. It gave me such a warm feeling inside to see how well he had adjusted to being a dad. I knew when Maddie was born that Teddy would have been a good and loving father and I still appreciated that he had accepted her as his own the day she was born. But Maddie needed to know her real father and I was just so grateful that Deacon had stepped up. He'd been terrified when Maddie and I first moved in. He didn't have the same ease about him at first that Teddy had had. I think a lot of it was because he was afraid he would disappoint me, and her. But soon enough he had adjusted to being a father and he had turned into a very good one.

The whole day had been wonderful. I could hardly believe Deacon and I had actually gotten married. It was the most amazing day of my life. And it just got better with every day. I lay still, closing my eyes, feeling the movement of the baby, and feeling so very blessed. Then the door opened. "Mama?" I heard Maddie's little whisper. I opened my eyes and smiled at her. She jumped up on the bed and scrambled up to hug my neck. "Did I wake you up? Daddy said not to wake you up."

I reached my arm around her and hugged her to me. "No, I was already awake. Just thinking about stuff."

Maddie tilted her head. "What stuff?" she asked.

"Well," I said and I rubbed my hand over my stomach. "Your baby sister is moving around, so I was thinking about her."

Maddie's eyes got big. "Really?" She looked down at my stomach, then back up to my eyes. "Can I feel her?" she whispered. I nodded and she gingerly reached her hand down and gently laid it on my stomach. The baby kicked right there and she pulled her hand away and laughed. Then she put her hand back and pulled it away again.

"Did you feel that?" Maddie nodded. "She must have known it was her big sister." Just then, Deacon appeared in the doorway. He looked at me, glanced at Maddie, then raised his eyebrows. "I was awake," I told him. He came in and sat on the bed.

"Daddy, I felted baby sister," Maddie said to him very seriously.

Deacon smiled. "You did?"

Maddie nodded. "Have you felted her?" she asked.

I hid a smile as I watched Deacon nod in response. "Yes, I have," he said.

Maddie pointed at my stomach. "Feel now," she commanded.

Deacon reached out and laid his hand near where Maddie had. We smiled at each other. Then Deacon reached for Maddie and stood up. "I think it's time for you to go take a nap," he said, and walked out to take her to Haley. When he came back, he shut the door and crawled into bed with me, curling against my back. I sighed contentedly as he started running his hands over me. I knew it wouldn't be long before we found ourselves naked together under the sheets, as we continued the long journey to Denver.


	7. Chapter 7

Everything seemed to go wrong on the Des Moines leg of the tour. We had been in Omaha for a show the night before and I had agreed to a meet-and-greet afterwards, which I regretted. I was twenty-seven weeks pregnant and, although I felt good overall, I was even more exhausted than normal after the show. I always felt a little worn out after a show, although it was always paired with an exhilaration over a job well done, but that was in the best of times. I felt heavy and huge on top of the usual post-show drain and that meant that I was really whipped. In hindsight, I wished I had told Bucky no, but I hadn't, so I made the best of it. I wouldn't let Deacon pull me away because I felt like I owed those people my time and attention. So I had asked to leave Omaha a little later the next morning. It was just a two hour trip, so it wouldn't make a big difference.

But, as it turned out, we were even later leaving than normal and then we had a flat along the way, so we'd had to wait to get the tire changed. On top of that, Maddie was cranky and would not let anyone else but me take care of her. I had tried to get her to go to Haley and then to Deacon, but she screamed her displeasure. This was not typical of her, so I let it go and spent most of the trip snuggling with her, even though I was so tired.

I tried to take a nap with Maddie but she was having none of it. She and I sat in my room while I read to her. I felt bad for poor Deacon when he tried to join us. Maddie screamed at him to go and swatted at him when he tried to cozy up to us. I mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to him as he left the room, disappointment in his eyes. I really wanted Maddie to nap, since I had not slept much myself the night before, but it wasn't to be.

When we finally got to Des Moines, we didn't have much time before we had to be at the arena for sound check. When we got to Veteran's Memorial Auditorium, I grabbed a plate of fruit at craft services. I hadn't eaten much all day and I was really hungry, but I didn't have a lot of time. Deacon and I walked up to the upper level of the auditorium, as was our ritual. He had tried to get me to not do it this tour, but I had insisted. Plus it was an opportunity for the two of us to have some alone time before a show.

When we settled on our seats, we sat quietly for a few minutes just holding hands, looking down at the stage, where the crew was getting things set up. Blake Shelton, an up and coming artist, was opening for us, and we watched him get set up for his sound check.

I turned to Deacon. "I think Blake's the real deal, don't you?"

Deacon nodded. "Yeah. I think next year he'll be out on his own."

I smiled. "Do you remember when that was us? Opening for George Strait?"

Deacon winked at me. "I do. That was when we started doing this."

"Yep. Seems like ages ago, doesn't it? A lot has happened since then." I took a deep breath. "I always hoped I'd be a headliner one day. I don't think I ever realized how much hard work it would be, though."

Deacon pulled me closer and kissed me. "You deserve this, Ray. All of it."

I smiled at him. "I'm glad we're still doing this together, babe." I gave him a look. "So, do you think I can still fit on your lap?"

He raised his eyebrows and looked like he was considering that carefully. "I'm pretty sure you can."

I stood up and then moved to sit across his legs. I looped my arms around his neck and he put his arms around my waist, or at least as much of it as he could get around. It wasn't particularly comfortable, especially in an arena seat, but it was the best we could do these days. I leaned my head on his shoulder and yawned.

He twisted his head slightly to look at me. "You okay, baby?"

I nodded. "Just a little tired. I wish I'd gotten to take a nap today, but it'll be okay."

He sighed. "I wish I could have helped."

"Well, sometimes little girls just need their mama." I snuggled against him and he moved his hand up to cover my breast. He made those lazy circles that sent quivers of excitement running all the way down to my toes. I moaned a little and snuggled closer. He rubbed his thumb over my nipple and even through my bra and my top, I could feel it tighten.

He pressed his face into my hair and then kissed my head. "Mm, baby, one thing I really love is how big the girls are," he whispered, which made me laugh. He kept stroking and rubbing and I was squirming against him. Finally he slid his hand down and lightly rubbed my stomach. "God, baby, you're so hot," he murmured.

I moved my head so that I could look at him in the face. I leaned in and kissed him, hungrily pulling at his lower lip until he opened his mouth and slid his tongue in mine. We sat a while longer just kissing, until it was obvious that if we wanted to go further, we needed to find another place to be. So I pushed myself up and back over into the seat I'd been in. We looked at each other and laughed.

"Ray, you know I love you this way, but I can't lie. I will be glad when I can get my arms around you again and feel all of you instead of just your stomach." He grinned playfully at me.

I smiled back. "Me too, babe. But I'm glad you're such a good sport about it." Just then, Blake started his sound check and we knew we needed to get back downstairs. Deacon helped me up and gave me a last lingering kiss and then we walked hand in hand back down to the main level of the auditorium and around to the stage.

* * *

My stylist had just finished my hair when Deacon walked in to my dressing room. "Hey, baby," he said with a smile. The stylist put down her brush and, giving me a tap on the shoulder, turned and walked out of the room to give Deacon and me privacy. He walked up behind my chair and put his hands on my shoulders. "You look beautiful."

I smiled. "Thanks." He leaned in then and moved his hands down to fondle my breasts, then lower to rub my stomach. I leaned back against his shoulder and, closing my eyes, reached my hand behind his neck, and sighed happily. I breathed in and out slowly as his hands returned to my breasts, his fingers making lazy circles over them until I could feel my nipples harden. "Oh, babe," I moaned. "I wish we had time to…."

He chuckled in my ear. "I know. Later though." He pulled back and I opened my eyes. I looked at him in the mirror and wrinkled my nose. "What?" he said.

"I hate that shirt," I told him. He was wearing that brown Henley shirt that was not my favorite.

"Do you want me to change?"

I shook my head. "No, it's ok. This time." I winked at him.

He came around in front of me and took my hand, helping me up from the chair. "Well, _you_ look gorgeous, darlin'," he said with a smile.

I was wearing my favorite outfit. White jeans with an ivory sleeveless top, covered with a gold sequined tank that fell to the top of my thighs. I had on a pair of custom-made gold glittery ballet flats. "Thanks, babe."

"How are you feeling?" He knew it had been a tough day with Maddie being unusually cranky and demanding my attention.

I shrugged. "Ok. Still a little tired, but that just means I'll sleep well tonight." I had been a little hungry before he'd come in, but had forgotten about it until just then. I'd had a couple of small cocktail sandwiches before getting dressed and I wished I'd had time for something else, but we needed to be on stage in thirty minutes.

Deacon smiled and pulled me into his arms. "I don't think you'll get to sleep right away," he said with a wink.

I smiled back at him. "Well, I sure hope not." I ran my hands down his back and over his ass, squeezing it.

Just then the door opened and Bucky popped his head in. "We need to get going, guys," he said and then he hurried off.

* * *

I remembered thinking that it felt extra hot on stage that night. In the middle of our encore I was suddenly, overwhelmingly, exhausted. I felt lightheaded. I didn't think I could do one more song, so when we finished with "Already Gone", I waved to the crowd and told them good night. Deacon and the rest of the band looked surprised as I turned to make my way off the stage. Later, I remembered thinking that I was glad I had gotten completely backstage before I had the sensation that I was being covered by a black blanket. My legs felt like jelly and I could feel myself sliding towards the floor, but then someone caught me. Just before everything went black, I could hear someone who sounded very far away shouting "Call 9-1-1! Call 9-1-1!" and Deacon yelling, "Ray! Ray!"

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I was laying on a couch and had a wet cloth on my forehead. Deacon was sitting next to me, and I could see panic on his face. I tried to sit up, but I felt dizzy, plus Deacon pressed me gently back down. "Ray," he said hoarsely. I could see tears in his eyes.

"What happened?" I asked, confused about why I was lying on a couch.

"You fainted," he said. Tears rolled down his face. "Thank God, you're ok. You scared me." He squeezed my hand tightly. "An ambulance is on the way."

I frowned. "Deacon, that's ridiculous. I don't need to go to the hospital. I just need to go back to the hotel and take a nap."

He glared at me. "Rayna, you're pregnant and you fainted. You're going to the hospital and get checked out." He chewed his lip for a moment. "And then we're going home."

Now it was my turn to glare at him. "No, we're not." But we didn't have any more time to talk about it then. The ambulance had arrived and the paramedics lifted me up on a gurney and rushed me away from the backstage area, Deacon following behind. Five minutes later we were at the hospital.

* * *

After the ER doctor checked me out, followed up by the on duty OB, I was moved to a room to be observed overnight. Over my objections, of course. I wanted to go back to the hotel and be with my husband and my daughter, not in a hospital. The OB had insisted, though, and Deacon did as well. I felt a little ganged up on.

Both doctors told me that physically I was fine and the baby was fine, but that I was dehydrated and that, combined with a lack of food, contributed to an uptick in my blood pressure and a drop in my blood sugar level. And that had caused me to faint. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a good meal and plenty of water. And rest. But they wanted to keep me overnight.

"So, I'll be ok to leave for Minneapolis tomorrow, right?" I asked, crossing my arms and looking at the doctor sternly. Both Deacon and Bucky were in the room listening to everything.

He looked at me over the top of his glasses and sighed. "Mrs. Claybourne, you should certainly talk to your own doctor, but in my opinion, you need to take a break."

I was distracted by him calling me "Mrs. Claybourne." Nobody did that; I was always "Ms. Jaymes", even now. It made me smile for a second, but then I went back to a frown. "But I'm in the middle of a tour." I could see Deacon huffing in the background.

The doctor shook his head and looked over at Deacon. "Sir, with all due respect, I think you need to convince your wife that she needs to take at least a little time off."

Deacon was frowning, but he nodded at the doctor. "I'll talk to her," he said.

With that, the doctor left the room. I looked at Deacon and Bucky. I was pretty sure I knew where they stood, but this was _my_ tour, right? "Y'all," I said. "We're almost done with the tour. I know I can do this."

"No!" they said together, Bucky in a stern tone, Deacon practically shouting.

Deacon walked over to me. "Rayna, we're going back to Nashville tomorrow. The tour is over. I already told Bucky to cancel the rest of the dates."

I was shocked. "What? Are you kidding me? You can't do that!"

Deacon raised his eyebrows at me. "I can and I did. You are officially on maternity leave as of right now." He looked at me sternly, almost daring me to contradict him. He turned back to Bucky. "Bucky, you can let the band know. Y'all can all go back to Nashville on the bus. If you'll book a flight for Rayna, Maddie, Haley and me, we'll fly home tomorrow after Rayna gets out of the hospital." He took a deep breath. "I'm staying here tonight, so if you'll let Haley know."

Bucky nodded, then walked over to the other side of my bed. He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead, then squeezed my hand. "Take care of yourself, Rayna. You really scared us tonight, you know."

I didn't really know what to say, so I just squeezed his hand back and gave him an apologetic smile. Bucky was a good man and I knew he cared about me. A lot. "Thanks, Buck. I guess I'll see you back in Nashville," I said quietly. He nodded at me, then at Deacon, and left the room, shutting the door behind me. Then I looked up at Deacon, who was still scowling at me. "Stop that. I'm ok."

Deacon huffed, then he lowered the side rail on the bed and climbed in to lay on his side next to me. He gathered me up in his arms and held me tight. After a moment, I could feel him shaking and I realized he was crying. Which made me cry. I hadn't really been scared until right that second, but suddenly I understood why he'd looked so angry. I would never have intentionally put the baby at risk, but I realized that I kind of had. Not to mention myself. I hadn't meant to, but I knew now that it had scared him. This, all of this, the baby, us, it was a big deal for Deacon. As much as I trusted in his sobriety now, I understood that it was this kind of thing that could undo him. I let myself relax in his arms until he finally loosened his hold and pulled back a little to look down at me.

He worked his lip for a moment. His eyes were still red and wet from his tears. Then he said, "You know, Ray, you have always been the strongest person I know. You always knew what to do and you did it. You were the responsible one. You took care of everything, including me." He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. "Well, now it's my turn. I'm going to be the strong one. And I'm taking care of you. Starting right now. That's why we're going home." He took a deep, ragged breath. "And I want you to do this. For me."

I turned myself slightly so that I was facing him and put my arm around his waist. I nodded. "I will, babe. I promise." He pulled me as close to him as he could and ran his hand up and down my arm and down to my hip. I was conscious of the warm feeling of desire that stirred up in me. After a little bit, I could feel him hard against my leg where it was pressed against him. I pulled my head back slightly and smiled up at him. "I don't think we can do that here, babe," I teased. "We're in a hospital and someone could walk in at any time."

He choked out a laugh. "I swear to God, Ray, even when you scare the shit out of me, all it takes is holding you and I get turned on."

"If it makes you feel better, I feel the same way." I smiled up at him. "We need to make sure sex is still okay when we get home." We laughed together and held each other a little tighter. I was glad he stayed with me that night. When I really thought about what had happened, I realized it had scared me too.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard Deacon whisper softly, "One thousand, nine hundred and twenty nine." And I smiled.

"I'm so proud of you, babe," I whispered back.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky contacted the label and they sent their plane to Des Moines the next day to pick us up. After reviewing pages of instructions, which boiled down to eat frequently, drink lots of water, and rest – and that meant no touring – the doctor let me leave. We were back in Nashville and at my doctor's office by mid-afternoon. After getting the same message from Dr. Norris, Deacon took me home.

Tandy had come to the airport to pick up Maddie, so that I could rest. After drawing me to her in a fierce hug, she had winked at me and whispered, "I think he just wants a couple days of you naked in bed, without distractions." I had turned red and she smiled. "Just take care of yourself and that baby, sweetheart. Don't worry about Maddie for the next few days. I'll spoil her rotten."

It turned out Tandy wasn't far off on either comment. I knew she would let Maddie rule the roost at her house, which meant she'd be impossible once we got her back home. And once my doctor said I was fine, Deacon couldn't wait to get me home and into bed. With him in it, of course. I was worried about press coverage of what had happened, but Bucky was able to hold it off initially and defer most of it to the label. So we were able to get home without having to answer a lot of questions. As soon as we were in the house, Deacon hustled me into our bedroom. It didn't take long for him to bury himself deep inside me.

"Oh, God, babe, I missed this," I groaned, even though it had just been one night. Afterwards, as we lay there, breathing hard, I thought about missing the rest of the tour. I was disappointed, of course, but glad that my fainting spell hadn't been anything more serious. I really wasn't sure I could completely take a step back; in my head, I was already planning how I would fill the time until the baby came. But I decided that I wouldn't talk to Deacon about that just yet.

He snuggled up to me and nuzzled my neck. "I'm not letting you out of this bed for the next three days," he said. "Or maybe the next five."

I laughed. "I have to get up some time. To eat that food and drink that water that Dr. Norris told me I had to eat and drink."

He ran his hand over my cheek. "I'll bring it to you. All you have to do is stay here all naked and gorgeous and wait for me to get you going again."

I leaned in and kissed him. "A girl could get used to that. Being waited on _and_ having unlimited sex with the sexiest man alive."

He chuckled. "Just like the old days, Ray." He put his arms around me and then ran his hand down over my stomach. "Except maybe for this." He kissed me again. "But I like this."

I took a deep breath as his fingers made lazy circles over my stomach. I still felt a little self-conscious about my growing size, but he never made me feel anything but loved and desired. As though he knew what I was thinking, his fingers trailed down and found their way between my legs. I sighed deeply as he started again to give me what I craved.

* * *

Later that evening, as the sun started to set in the sky, Deacon and I actually did get out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. He helped me get up on one of the stools at the counter and then he brought me a big glass of water. He leaned on the counter across from me and frowned at me. "I just want to remind you that you need to follow the rules. I know you don't like not doing anything, but just for a few days, for me, please, let me take care of you, Ray."

I rested my elbows on the counter and rested my chin on my clasped hands and looked at him. His hair was a little messy and I wanted to reach out and push it back off his face. His eyes looked tired and weary, but I knew they were really full of concern for me. I smiled at him. "I promise, Deacon, I'll let you take care of me. But just for a few days. I'm not an invalid and Dr. Norris said I am _fine_. I am not restricted from doing anything" – I could see him tense up and get ready to protest – "except for the tour. I get it." Deacon relaxed. I leaned my head to one side. "Now, babe, I'm _hungry_. I want something to eat."

He pushed himself up and smiled at me. "Eggs and bacon ok?" I nodded. "Good," he said. "Since that's all we have." And then he went about the business of scrambling eggs and frying up bacon and it was the most delicious food I'd had in a long time.

* * *

The next day I was craving peanut butter and saltines and we surprisingly had none in the house. So Deacon went out to get some for me, while I took a long shower and got dressed. When he came back, he had a dark look on his face. "What's the matter, babe?" I asked as I took the bag from him and carried it into the kitchen.

He scowled. "Well, of course, it's out now that you cancelled the rest of your tour and that you fainted in Des Moines." I nodded. I knew as soon as word was out about the cancellations, it would be all over the news. "So there's press outside. Not many, just a couple, taking pictures and video for TV." I wasn't completely surprised, but I thought most of it would be handled at the label. "But there's, I don't know, stuff out there."

I frowned. "What do you mean by 'stuff'?"

"You know, like when you drive by someplace on the highway where there's been an accident and there's a little cross or some memorial?" I nodded. "Well, there's stuff out on the sidewalk in front of the house. Not a cross or anything, but like stuffed animals and things like that."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh. For the baby, I bet." I put my hand on his arm and rubbed it, smiling at him. "I'm sure it's fans, leaving things for the baby. I think that's kind of sweet."

"I don't know, Ray. It seems a little creepy, knowing that people are coming by our house, leaving things. That they know where we live."

I thought about that. We had never moved from the East Nashville bungalow we'd bought years ago, even after I got to be a major headliner. We had bought the house a couple years after Deacon had bought the cabin, because that was just too far away to live full time. We loved this house. I had planned to sign it over to Deacon after he got out of rehab that last time, but then I had left Teddy and moved back in. It was big enough for the four of us, when the new baby came, but it did mean that we were right in the middle of everything. I knew that the tour buses that drove past the country stars' homes drove by here, but I'd never really thought much about it, since we were gone as much, or more, than we were here. But we weren't typical of the others in our circle. Most of the top acts lived a couple counties out on big estates or in gated communities around Nashville. So the fact that we were so accessible meant that people could get close. Whether we liked it or not. It was kind of part of the deal here. But the locals were very respectful typically, letting the country music community live their lives as normally as possible.

Deacon looked at me closely. "Maybe we ought to think about moving."

"Really?" I wasn't sure I wanted to move. I loved this house. I had been born and raised in Nashville and I wanted to stay here. But I understood his nervousness with people being able to get to us so easily.

He shrugged. "Maybe. We can think about it."

"Maybe. But right now I want my peanut butter and saltines," I said, grinning at him. I got a knife from the drawer and set to work spreading peanut butter on my crackers.

* * *

For three days Deacon took care of me. If I wasn't in bed, I was laying on the couch, while he waited on me hand and foot. To be fair, it wasn't all sex all the time, although, happily, there was a lot of it. But he forced me to relax, not letting me do much of anything, until I finally rebelled.

Three days after we'd come home from Des Moines, Deacon came back from the grocery store to find me on the front porch stoop, dressed, hair done, and makeup on. He rushed up the steps with a frown on his face and, putting the bag down, sat next to me.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

I smiled at him. "Deacon, this has all been great and you've taken wonderful care of me. But I've got cabin fever. And I want my daughter back home." He pouted and I leaned over and kissed him. "Take me to lunch and then let's go by Tandy's and pick up Maddie." I rested my hands on my stomach. "I need my whole family together."

He sat there for a moment, thinking about what I'd said. Finally he put his arm around me and pulled me in close. He kissed my cheek. "I'm really glad you let me take care of you, Ray. I feel like I have so much to pay you back for."

I turned to look at him and frowned. "It doesn't have to be tit for tat, babe. It all evens out in the end."

He rubbed my shoulder and looked at me. "I was so scared, Ray," he said. "I was right behind you and when you started to fall…" He stopped, his lip quivering just a bit, his eyes suddenly red.

I took his face in my hands. "Babe, I'm sorry I scared you. But I'm glad you were there."

He worked his lip. "All I could think about was how much I wanted a drink," he said quietly. "I really think if I hadn't stayed right there with you the whole time, I'd have gone to a bar." I reached for his hand. "I really thought I was past that," he went on. "I was so close to screwing all this up."

"But you didn't. You stayed strong. For me. For both of us." I smiled at him. "I couldn't do any of this without you. I really needed you that night. Not just to catch me, but to hold me up and tell me what to do."

He pulled me against his side. "I don't want to disappoint you, baby. Ever again."

"You won't. You're so much stronger now. I trust you, babe."

He turned his head toward me and pressed his lips against my hair and then he sighed. "I keep waiting for this to be easy. When I won't think about it so much. Most times I think I've got it beat. I don't think about a drink, I don't even want one. But there's still times…"

I wasn't sure what to say. I'd never had a drinking problem and, although I had lived through this with him, I'd never really truly understood that all-consuming need for a drink that he'd had. He didn't talk about what went on in his meetings, so all I knew was that they were his lifeline in the tough times, and kept him accountable the rest of the time. "Deacon, I would guess that any time there's stress, it might be harder. But that's why you have meetings. And Cole. Right?"

He nodded. "I know this is my last chance with you, Rayna."

I looked away. He was probably right about that. Of course, I had thought his last chance ended that morning at the cabin when he'd gotten drunk and blacked out and couldn't remember asking me to marry him. I'd given him this chance because of Maddie. But with another baby coming, I knew that if he fell off the wagon again, I couldn't stay. It was too much to put children through. I didn't think about it as much as I used to, but it was always there in the back of my mind. I just had to trust that he could do it. He'd made it one thousand, nine hundred and thirty two days. And we'd been through a lot that had tested him and he was still strong.

And then it occurred to me that this time, Deacon _had_ taken charge. The old Deacon would have let me take care of everything and make the decisions and probably _would_ have gone off and gotten drunk. Even though we were truly partners, he had always talked about me being the "responsible one." In Des Moines, and since we'd been home, I was seeing a different Deacon than I'd ever seen before, more confident and able to be his own man. It had happened slowly and kind of under the radar, but now it was so apparent. I leaned my head into his shoulder and hugged him. "Babe, you're stronger than you know. I don't think you're as close to falling anymore as you think you are. You aren't in the same place where you were four years ago," I told him. He looked at me, took a deep breath, and then put his arm around me.

* * *

It actually turned out to be the next day before we went to get Maddie. Sitting there with him on the stoop, and realizing how far he had come, was an incredible turn on. Right then I'd needed desperately to be with him, skin on skin, hands everywhere, tongues and arms and legs entwined. This Deacon was the man I always knew was there and the one I'd been waiting for and I needed to tell him in the way we knew best just how glad I was that he'd succeeded. And at the end of the day, as dusk was approaching, we sat in bed, naked, me sitting between his legs with my back leaning against his chest, a notebook in my hands, and we wrote. A pretty love song about hope and dreams and struggle, but still hanging in there, that we called "Tryin' to Love You." When we were done, I dropped the notebook on the bed and leaned my head back against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned into my neck, leaving little kisses there. As I felt his need grow, so did mine, and we came together yet again to celebrate in the way that we always did.

_**A/N: "Tryin' to Love You" is an actual song, recorded by Trisha Yearwood.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks to those of you who are reading this – would love to know what you think so far!_

The next morning, I woke up to the sun softly peeking through the curtains. I could tell it was still early. I must have gotten hot during the night because the sheets were down around my feet. I maneuvered myself over onto my other side and was surprised not to see Deacon there. Even after four years, the rare time that he wasn't in bed next to me always caused my heart to skip a beat. I rolled myself back over to my other side and lay there quietly, listening for any sound, any noise, that would tell me he was in the house. My heart felt like it was in my throat. Then, thankfully, I heard his footsteps. I let a breath out.

When he walked in the room, he was carrying a tray, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. He stopped at the doorway when he saw that I was awake, then shook his head as his eyes told me that he was enjoying seeing me naked and exposed. "Baby, this is the best sight on a beautiful morning," he said.

I felt my face get warm, but I didn't try to cover myself. Instead, I lifted my arms over my head and stretched slowly. I smiled at him. "Is that breakfast?" I asked, winking at him. God, did he look gorgeous standing there, his hair messy and his eyes roaming over me.

He set the tray down, pulled off his jeans and crawled into bed with me, pulling me into his arms. "Breakfast can wait," he said gruffly, and then proceeded to give me a lovely morning wake up.

* * *

We finally were headed for Tandy's to pick up Maddie. Deacon had decided that we would go up to the cabin for a few days, so we'd packed a few things and thrown them in the truck before heading out. When we got to Tandy's, she greeted me with a big hug. "Hey, babe. How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Good," I said. "Good enough to get up on stage." I was teasing, but when I turned to look at Deacon he was scowling. "Just kidding, babe," I said to him with a smile. He shook his head at me, but the softened look on his face told me he wasn't angry. I looked back at my sister. "So where's my girl?"

"She's in the den, watching some video she talked me into buying."

"You spoil her, Tandy."

Tandy grinned. "Of course I do. That's what aunts are supposed to do!" She linked her arm in mine as we headed towards the den, Deacon trailing behind. She leaned into me and whispered, "I can see why you were running late. You have that 'just been fucked' look." She winked at me.

I gasped and felt heat on my face. "Tandy!" I whispered back.

She laughed. "What? I think it's sweet. Even all knocked up and y'all still can't keep your hands off each other. I love it."

I opened my mouth to say something, then shut it. She was right. Deacon and I were passionate people – about our performances, our music…and sex. After all these years, I still couldn't get enough of him. And it was the same for him. I felt like I couldn't get enough of him touching me, of our skin rubbing against each other. Of his lips on mine, our tongues entwined. We could both drive each other crazy just with our fingers and hands. The touches, the strokes. And then the way he filled me up, stretching me out, the glorious tightness was…well, it was magic. I felt the heat from my face spread through my body and settle between my legs. I had to breathe in slowly to calm the quivers of excitement. It was hard to believe that after fifteen years together, it was still like it was in the beginning. Only better, since now we knew each other so well. I shook my head to get those thoughts out. We were several hours away from being able to act on them and I needed to concentrate on my daughter.

When I got to the den, I saw that Maddie was sitting in Tandy's chair and a half, her favorite place to sit. She looked up as I walked in and her face broke out into a huge smile. She jumped up on the chair and yelled, "Mama!"

I walked over to her with a smile. "Hey, baby girl," I said. Then I picked her up and put her on my hip, as she wrapped her little arms around my neck and kissed me. I kissed her back.

"Rayna." Deacon's voice was gruff and I turned to look at him. He frowned and shook his head.

"What?" I responded, a little annoyed. "Dr. Norris said I could pick her up."

Deacon sighed and walked over to me. Maddie turned and held her arms out for him to take her, which he did. "Humor me. Please," he said to me, then turned to nuzzle Maddie's neck, causing her to squeal with delight and him to grin broadly at her.

I pouted and Tandy walked up to me and put her hand on the small of my back. Leaning into me, she said, "Let him pamper you, sweetheart. Just enjoy it."

"I guess I have no choice." I wasn't sure whether to be annoyed that he was still treating me like an invalid or to just enjoy the fact that he wanted to take care of me. It had been a long time since Deacon had truly taken care of me. Probably as far back as when Daddy had kicked me out of the house and he had taken me in. For so many years, he wasn't capable of taking care of himself, let alone me, and I guess old habits were hard to break. These last few days, he had taken charge and I had found that I liked it when he did.

* * *

We spent a week at the cabin. It was early July and that meant that it was hot and humid, but being along the lake helped. We were there for the Fourth of July and enjoyed the local fireworks over the lake. I spent a lot of time watching Deacon with Maddie, enjoying seeing the two of them together. I felt my heart swell as I realized how happy Deacon was now. We even did some writing. We ended up with three hit singles out of all our writing – "American Beauty", "Sweet Summertime", and "Stomping Ground."

After dinner our last night at the cabin, Deacon and I walked out to the dock with Maddie. I thought about her sad face when I had served spaghetti for dinner. From a can. Again. I guess even when kids love something, they don't want it every other day. Poor kid. She suffered from her parents' poor cooking skills. Deacon had gotten marshmallows when he'd picked up groceries, so we were going to surprise her by roasting marshmallows later.

"So is everybody ready to go home tomorrow?" Deacon asked.

"No," Maddie said firmly, crossing her hands over her chest and frowning.

"You don't want to go home to your bed and your toys?" he asked.

She considered that. We'd brought most of her favorites. Then she shook her head. "No. Wanna swim more." Deacon had taken her out in the lake every day. Most days I would sit on the dock in shorts and a tank top, dangling my feet in the water, but today I had gotten in with them and Maddie had been super excited. She had played her kiss game with us. She would tell Deacon and me to kiss, then she would say "Kiss Maddie!" and we would each kiss her on the cheek. Over and over. She had squealed with laughter and we would laugh along with her. It was always one of her favorite things to do. And, truthfully, because there was kissing involved, it was one of our favorites too.

"Well, Maddie," I said, "Daddy and I have to go back to work." Deacon looked at me and raised his eyebrows with a warning look in his eye.

"On the bus?" Maddie asked, as she looked up at me.

I shook my head and gave Deacon a look of my own. "No, not on the bus. But we need to meet with Uncle Watty and Uncle Bucky about some songs." Even though I couldn't do much else, I wanted to go ahead and start planning my next album. I smirked at Deacon and he gave me a small smile.

Maddie smiled. "Songs! I like to sing!" she cried.

I smiled at her. "I know you do, baby girl. And you're a good singer."

She beamed. "I wanna be a singer like you, Mama. I wanna wear a sparkle dress like you."

I widened my eyes at her and Deacon tried to hide a smile. "No, sweetheart, you need to go to college," I said, even though I knew she didn't understand what that even meant. There were times when I felt at such a disadvantage because I'd never finished high school. Watty had been a great teacher about the business, for both Deacon and me. And Bucky never talked down to me, even though he had a college degree. But I really wanted Maddie to go to college, not go into the music business. It could be so tough and it could eat you alive if you weren't careful. Deacon always said we weren't going to have a choice, that both our girls would probably follow in our footsteps, but I didn't want to think that way.

Maddie frowned darkly and shook her head hard, swinging her hair back and forth. "No. Daddy will teach me the string box." When she was younger, she'd had a hard time saying guitar, so Deacon told her it was a string box. And she still called it that.

I looked up at Deacon. He opened his eyes wide and shrugged. "Did Daddy tell you that?" I asked Maddie, keeping my eyes on Deacon.

Maddie nodded her head. Deacon looked up and away from me. I frowned. "We all play together," Maddie said. "Baby sister too." She smiled up at me. "In a sparkle dress and cowboy boots."

Deacon looked at me then. I frowned at him. He smiled. "We can be the travelin' Claybournes," he said with a laugh. "Starring the Queen of Country Music and her princesses, with your trusty leader of the band making sure it's all good."

"Yes! Yes!" Maddie squealed, clapping her hands.

I rolled my eyes at Deacon and he just smiled at me. I looked back at Maddie, her little face all happy and excited. "Well, that all sounds really nice, Maddie, but we'll have to see how you feel when you get older," I told her.

She looked grief-stricken. "We can't do it now?"

I shook my head and gave Deacon a look that said 'don't say a word'. He shook his head, smiling. "No, we can't," I said. "You're still too little and, well, baby sister hasn't even gotten here yet. We'll talk about it when you're a little older."

Maddie crossed her arms and fumed. "How long is older?"

"I'll let you know."

Maddie looked pleadingly at Deacon. "Daddy, make her let me."

He shook his head at her, smiling. "No, ma'am. Mama's in charge. She makes the rules."

"They're dumb rules," Maddie said, pouting.

I glared at Deacon, then turned back to Maddie. "Tell you what, sweetheart, Daddy got marshmallows. Want to go roast marshmallows?"

Her singing career was forgotten as she jumped up and started for the cabin. "Yes!" she cried.

Deacon stood up, then leaned down and put his hand out for me. If I could have gotten up without looking ridiculous, I would have, so I took his hand and let him help me up. As soon as I was standing, I snatched my hand away. I leaned in to him and shook my finger. "You are in big trouble," I hissed.

He threw his head back and laughed out loud. "Well, I'm looking forward to that," he said and winked at me.

I swatted his arm, then followed him to the cabin, knowing that the only kind of trouble he'd be getting into would be the kind that involved him satisfying that quiver of desire that had just started its way through me. I could really never be mad at him for long.

After we roasted marshmallows with Maddie, I sat on the porch while she and Deacon chased fireflies. The baby started what felt like somersaults, almost as though she wanted to be playing with them. I felt very lucky that our lives had turned out this way. I was so very proud of Deacon and how he was doing. I had never thought he'd be able to lick his addiction to alcohol and pills. I remember how desperate I'd felt and how worn out I'd been all those years. I thought again about how scared I had been to give him this one last chance. I had wondered if I was being a fool all over again. He had learned to be a wonderful father, though, far better than he had imagined he could be. Seems I'd made the right choice after all.

* * *

When we got back to Nashville from the cabin, I let Deacon talk me into at least considering a new house. A new pile of stuffed animals and notes were there when we got back, although a little worse for wear. Maddie wanted to scoop up all the toys and shrieked her displeasure when we told her no. It was, I decided, something to at least think about, this living somewhere where people couldn't reach us so easily.

We talked about where to look. Franklin, south of Nashville, was popular with a lot of people we knew, but it made me sad to think of leaving Nashville proper. Neither one of us wanted to consider Belle Meade. Too close to Daddy and too much of what I'd left behind. We had decided that we would only look at houses with some land that were in gated communities. So Deacon found a realtor and we ended up looking at a handful of homes.

The one we liked the best was in a small gated community still in Nashville, a little closer to Belle Meade than either of us liked, but with a lot of what we were looking for. We rode out with the realtor, who let us roam the house freely while she waited in the main living room. The house had a very Mediterranean look to it from the outside, with lots of balconies. It was majestic and gorgeous, quite a showplace. Walking into the two-story main living area was breathtaking. I loved how open it was.

We wandered in to the kitchen, which was a showplace with obviously top of the line everything. I cut my eyes over to Deacon. "I think we're out of our league in this kitchen, babe," I said. Neither one of us was much for cooking, although we tried.

He smiled, then I gasped as he lifted me up on the counter. He pushed my legs apart slightly and stood between them, leaning in for a kiss. "Perfect height for a little extra-curricular fun though," he whispered.

I laughed, pulling him a little closer. "We'd have to wait a couple months before we could try it out for real," I said.

He smiled. "True." Then he helped me down and we continued our stroll, although now it was harder for me to concentrate on what I was looking at. The next room we walked into was one of two smaller den type rooms. Deacon looked at me excitedly. "This could be the music room." We'd always wanted a music room. Someplace to put my piano and to display his guitars. And where we could write. With all that went along with that.

I gasped when we walked into the master bedroom. I had never been in a bedroom so large. "Oh, Deacon, look at this," I said. "The fireplace! How romantic!"

He winked at me. "Plenty of room to cuddle on the floor in front of it, too." He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me, leaning in to whisper in my ear, "I can see you naked, lying on a bear skin rug, just waiting for me to join you."

I smiled, feeling hot quivers of need running up and down my body. "I like how that sounds," I murmured. There were his and hers bathrooms. The 'her' bathroom had a deep soaking tub, which looked like sheer heaven to me. The 'his' bathroom had a large shower with multiple showerheads. Deacon grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shower with him. He pressed against my back and I could feel him hard against my ass.

"I think we could have a lot of fun in here," he said into my ear, his voice low and sexy. Neither one of us could go in any room without thinking about having sex there. If it wasn't such a turn on, it would have been just funny.

By the time we had toured the house and headed for home, we were so hot for each other that we actually found a secluded area in nearby Percy Warner Park where we could relieve our tension. We hadn't had sex in the front seat of Deacon's truck in a very long time and, despite having to work our way around my stomach, we finally were successful. I wondered what someone would think if they had come up on Rayna Jaymes, country music star and nearly eight months pregnant, having sex with her husband in the front seat of a truck. It would certainly have been embarrassing, but it sure wasn't the first time that we'd had risky sex. And maybe because it was a little risky, it was even more explosive.

"Well," Deacon breathed when we were done. "That was something."

I laughed softly. "Yes, it certainly was." I kissed him. "It's been a while since we've done something quite like that. Although I don't think anyone could accuse us of being a couple of boring old married people."

He smiled. "Then I think we make a promise to do that more often. 'Cause we are definitely _not_ a couple of boring old married people."

* * *

Late that night, curled up in each other's arms with the sheet wrapped around us, we talked a little about whether we really wanted to move. The label had come by again and removed all the mementos that fans had left and that finally seemed to be easing up. But Deacon was still concerned. "I think we really should consider it," he said.

"But where? I don't really want to live so far out."

"What about that place we looked at today? I liked it. It was big, plenty of room. A great place for Maddie to play. And the baby, when she's older. Quiet."

I thought about that. It was all of those things. But would it feel like home the way this place did? Everywhere I went in this house was full of us. I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't think it's 'us'."

Deacon was silent for a moment. "I think it's you," he said finally.

I turned my head to look at him. "You do? Why?"

"That's the kind of place you grew up in. It just feels like you. Beautiful and classy."

I frowned. "But, Deacon, I ran away from Belle Meade. Why would I want to go back?"

"It's not Belle Meade." He was being stubborn.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, not technically, but it's the same kind of place. And it's close, it might as well be." I looked at him closely. "Why do you want to do this? Even if, as you say, it's 'me', it's certainly not you."

He shrugged. "I have a family now. I want to take care of you. All of you." He pulled me closer to him. "I love this house, Ray, you know that. It's _our_ house. I feel you in this house, even when you're not here. I like how it kind of, I don't know, keeps us all close. But Maddie's growing up. And we have a new baby coming. It would be good, I think, if they could have their own space and we not all be on top of each other." He smirked at me then and leaned down to kiss me, fondling one of my breasts as he did so. "I need space for you and me too."

I smiled. "Well, we could certainly get creative in that house, couldn't we?"

Deacon nodded and went on. "Plus when the girls get older, it'll give them more space for friends and maybe parties and stuff."

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought you weren't going to let them get involved with boys."

He gave me a stern look. "Oh, they will never date. Not as long as they're living in my house. No boy will get near them."

I laughed. Then I took a deep breath. "I just don't know if I'm ready, babe. I need to think about it more."

"Okay," he said. Then he slid his hand under the sheet and trailed it down my side, sending a thrill of anticipation running though me. He leaned into my ear and whispered, "But I think you're exactly ready, Ray," as I opened my legs and he slid his fingers into me, making me moan with pleasure.

_**You can Google the house I used in this chapter – 170 Chickering Meadow in Nashville.**_


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up early, as I always did these days, although I laid there for quite a while. It was the same during the last month or so that I was pregnant with Maddie. I was uncomfortable and sleeping was hard. But a lot was different this time. When I was pregnant with Maddie, I was married to Teddy. He left me alone once I'd hit my fifth month and always slept on his side of the bed, never touching me. I know he did it because he thought that was what I wanted. He assumed that I didn't want sex and that I needed my space. In many ways, that was true, but I had loved him then and not having that closeness with my husband hurt. This time, though, I was married to Deacon and everything was different. Deacon and I still made love every night and then he still whispered the number of days he'd been sober. Those things would probably never change for us and it made me smile to think about it. We still held each other close every night and I almost always woke up to him snuggled at my back, his hand draped across my stomach. Like now.

I wanted to get up without waking him, but when I tried to move, he gently pulled me back. "Don't go, baby," he murmured against my neck.

"I want you to sleep, babe. I'm just so restless." He'd gotten home late from his gig and so he hadn't been asleep long. But he clearly wasn't ready for me to get up, which made me smile to myself. He nuzzled my neck and slid his hand back and down across my ass. I instantly felt that sweet heaviness and was rewarded as his hand slipped between my legs and his fingers slid inside me. He took his time, in spite of my pleading him with him to let me come. I could feel him hard against me, but still he was slow and deliberate, building up my excitement, then pulling back. I was whimpering with my need for release and still he kept me right on the edge. Finally he pulled his fingers out and slid his leg in between mine to open me up. I nearly wept when he pressed into me. I moved my hips against him as he thrust into me over and over. Then he made a final push and I exploded around him and he came hard inside me.

"You didn't want to get out of bed without that, did you?" he asked.

I turned my head back towards him and he leaned over me and kissed me. "I never want to get out of bed without that," I answered with a smile. Then I slowly turned myself on my other side so I was facing him, my stomach pressed against him. I kissed him again, deeply this time, lingering on his lips. Just then the baby started moving and we looked at each other and smiled. He placed his hand on my stomach and we just laid there for a few minutes enjoying that moment together. I kissed him lightly. "I'm going to get up and let you sleep some more," I told him and awkwardly turned to sit up on the edge of the bed.

Deacon reached for my hand and I turned to look at him. "I love you, baby," he said.

"I love you too, babe," I responded with a smile. I pushed myself up from the bed and walked over to the closet to get some clothes.

"Rayna, you're beautiful." I looked up and Deacon was laying in the bed, with his hands behind his head, watching me with a smile. I always felt a little self-conscious when he saw me naked like this. I wasn't sure I agreed that I looked beautiful at eight months pregnant; I felt heavy and uncomfortable. But I always saw love – and desire – in his eyes when he looked at me, so I smiled at him and slid the nightgown over my head. I padded over to his side of the bed and leaned over to kiss him. He reached his hand out and rubbed my cheek, then lay back and closed his eyes.

I went in to Maddie's room to wake her up. I stood looking at her and felt my heart fill with love. She looked so sweet and peaceful laying there asleep. I hoped she was always sweet. I walked over and lowered myself to sit on the bed beside her and reached to turn on the bedside lamp. When I saw her eyes scrunch up as the light hit them, I leaned in and whispered, "Wake up, sleepyhead," as I smoothed her hair off her face.

She opened her eyes and squinted against the light. "Hey, Mama," she said in her sleepy voice.

I smiled at her. "Hey, baby girl." Just then the baby kicked me, hard, in the ribs. I rubbed my stomach, hoping to calm her down. This one was so different from Maddie. She might be another girl, but she was a wild one. It felt like she was dancing, doing cartwheels, jumping up and down. She would be a handful, I could tell already. I turned to Maddie then and said, "The baby's kicking. Do you want to feel it?"

She sat up and smiled. "Yes!" I took her little hand and placed it on my stomach where she could feel the baby moving. Maddie's eyes widened and she smiled up at me, her face full of wonder. Deacon and I had worked hard to make sure that she was excited about the new baby and not unhappy about no longer being the only child. But Maddie had been thrilled from the beginning and loved helping me pick out baby things. When we told her the baby was a girl, she had turned pirouettes and now all she could do was talk about "baby sister." "When does she get here, Mama?"

I scrunched up my face. "Mm, we still have a little ways to go. Not too long though." About six weeks, but she wouldn't have understood that.

"I wish she would hurry." She rubbed her little hand over my stomach where the baby was still kicking up a storm.

I laughed. "Me too, sweetie."

She looked up at me. "I picked a name for her."

I smiled at her. "You did? What did you pick?"

She moved to snuggle up next to me, patting my tummy softly. "Daphne."

Deacon and I had not even begun to think about names and we hadn't really talked to Maddie about it, so I wondered why she had been thinking of names. "Why Daphne?"

"Miss Haley read me a story and there was a princess named Daphne. She was so pretty, with yellow hair and blue eyes, and so I think our baby will be Daphne."

I thought about that. Daphne was a pretty name, but it sounded like it would be for a girly girl, and this baby sure didn't feel like she was going to be a girly girl. But I liked it and I liked that Maddie had picked it out. I wanted to be sure that Deacon was okay with it, so I told her, "We'll have to tell Daddy what you picked and make sure he likes it too."

Maddie smiled up at me. "Oh, he'll like it. I know he will." I had to laugh at her confidence. She was probably right though. Deacon thought she hung the sun, the moon and the stars and I was sure he'd be glad the whole idea of naming the baby was decided. Then Maddie leaned over and got close to my stomach and whispered, "Hey, baby Daphne. See you soon!"

* * *

That night, Deacon and I laid curled up together, just quietly enjoying being together. He was gently stroking my arm and had buried his face in my hair. As I lay there, focused on his fingers touching my skin, I could feel desire snaking through me. I moved my hips against him just slightly. He laughed softly. He reached up and moved my hair back from my neck and peppered me with little kisses. I squirmed against him. But he wasn't quite ready for that. He wanted to talk.

"So, Daphne, huh?" he said. Maddie had told him about naming the baby Daphne and he had asked her lots of questions about why she wanted to and what she thought this baby sister Daphne might be like, but he had never specifically agreed to the name. Maddie didn't notice and she kept chattering on about baby Daphne.

I turned slightly so that I could look him in the face. "Do you not like it, babe?"

He ran his finger down my nose and then smiled. "Well, Maddie said it was a princess name and, considering how much she beats you up, she doesn't seem much like a princess."

I grinned. "But we really won't know until she gets here, you know? But I have to say that I think it sounds all sunshine-y and fun and she really does seem like she's going to be that kind of girl." I looked at him carefully. "Were you thinking of something else?"

He shook his head. "No. I think it's nice that Maddie wants to name her."

At that moment maybe-Daphne started her dance routine inside me and I put my hand where I could feel her kicks. "I think maybe she likes the name. She seems happy with it."

Deacon leaned into my ear while his hand slid between my legs. "I think I need to make love to Daphne's mama then," he whispered and then proceeded to do just that.

* * *

The next day, Deacon and I had a meeting at the label with Bucky to talk about my album and some preliminary discussions about a tour after the baby came. It was a hot August day and I had changed clothes multiple times trying to find something that was cool. I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and put on a little makeup. The back of my neck felt hot and I pulled my hair up and then fanned the back of my neck with one hand. I found a rubber band and put my hair into a ponytail so that it was up and off my neck. I checked myself out in the mirror. I was lucky that all my weight gain had been in my stomach. It seemed like most of the women in Dr. Norris's waiting room looked pregnant all over.

Haley had come to babysit Maddie, so Deacon and I left to go to our meeting. "You feeling okay today?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess." I turned to him and smiled. "I picked the wrong time of year to be pregnant though. I don't ever want to be this pregnant in the summer again."

He gave me a funny look. "Um, are you planning to do this again?"

I scrunched up my face. "You don't want more babies?"

He breathed in. "I, uh, I didn't say that. But two seems like a good number, don't you think?"

I laughed. "Yeah, two sounds perfect." And it did. Since I knew Deacon had been nervous about the idea of having a son, it seemed like two daughters was the ideal situation. Plus, for me, the required down time from touring was a disadvantage when you were trying to sell records. Two was absolutely perfect and right.

When we got to the parking garage at Edgehill, I went to open the door and then Deacon grabbed my hand. I turned to look at him. He looked very serious. "Rayna, if you want to have more kids, it's okay with me."

"What?"

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I wouldn't be okay with it. Before."

I leaned over and kissed him. "That's sweet of you, babe, but really, two is perfect. I was just teasing you."

He looked relieved, but he said, "Well, if you change your mind, it's okay with me."

I squeezed his hand and moved to get out of the car, but he pulled me back towards him. He kissed me hungrily and I responded to him, turning towards him and putting my hand on his neck, running my fingers into his hair. I felt little swirls of excitement and moaned into his mouth. He reached for my leg, sliding his hand under my thigh, pulling me a bit closer, then gliding his fingers a little closer to my inner thigh. I moaned again. Then he moved his hand and pulled away from the kiss, taking a deep breath. I was breathing hard and sat back against the seat to regain my composure. I smiled at him. "You definitely know how to get a girl all hot and bothered."

He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. "Then I suggest we go on in and get this meeting done, so we can take care of that."

* * *

Edgehill's offices were close to the top of the building, so Deacon and I ended up on the elevator with a lot of other people. I had only worn a small amount of makeup and had my hair in a ponytail, so I didn't really look like "the great Rayna Jaymes". But it was always amusing to watch people do a double take when they saw me, wondering if maybe, just maybe, I _was_ Rayna Jaymes. And, if I was, should they say something. I could tell that a few people who were on the elevator with us were wondering, but being as pregnant as I was, they weren't sure. I looked like me, but then I kinda didn't. I would just give the people who looked a small smile and they usually looked away, embarrassed.

We got off the elevator and walked into the reception area. "Hey there, Ms. Jaymes," the receptionist said with a smile. "They're down in the second conference room on the left." She pointed us down one hallway.

I looked at Deacon as we walked. "Did she say 'they'? Who's 'they'?"

Deacon shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

But it turned out to be a nice surprise when we walked in and Watty was sitting at the table with Bucky. "Watty!" I cried with a smile.

He got up and hurried around the table and gathered me up in a big hug. Then he stepped back and took me in. "My goodness, my little songbird," he said with a smile. "You look like you're ready to have that little one any minute."

"I have to confess I wouldn't mind if she came early. But we still have about six weeks to go." I took his arm and let him walk me to a chair. "I'm so glad to see you," I said happily.

"Well, I was talking to Bucky yesterday about something else and he told me the two of you were coming in today, so I asked if I could crash the meeting."

"You're always welcome, Watty," I said, smiling up at him.

When we were all seated, Bucky started to talk about the upcoming album. "We have ten songs, but I think we need twelve or even thirteen," he said. "Are y'all able to do any songwriting in the next couple weeks?"

Deacon smiled. "We're always able to write, Buck." He looked at me. "We've got time, I think."

I nodded. "I don't think we'll have any problem with that. What about recording time though?"

"Well, I'm thinking that we need to try to get as much done as we can in the next couple weeks. I'm guessing you're ready to just put your feet up and wait for that baby."

I frowned. "That's all I've been doing for the last month or so. He" – I looked at Deacon – "won't let me do much of anything. I'm surprised he was okay with us recording at all."

Deacon took my hand and squeezed it. "Just trying to make sure you do what the doctor said, Ray. If it were up to you…"

I huffed. "But I would love it if the album could come out right before we're ready to tour and, if that's gonna happen, we need to get things done." I looked at Deacon. "I'll sit while I record." He nodded but didn't say anything.

Watty spoke up. "I've listened to what you've done so far and I think you've got three, maybe four solid singles with what you have right now. Have you thought about what you want the first one to be?"

"We have," Deacon said. "But we'd love to hear what you think."

"I'm thinking 'American Beauty'," Watty said. "Then maybe 'Tryin' to Love You' as a good counterpoint, your usual ballad number."

Both Deacon and I nodded. We had definitely thought 'American Beauty' was the first single. We had recorded it the week we got back from the cabin and I loved the summer-y feel to it, the joyfulness of it. If Deacon would have let me, I would have danced to it. It made me smile and I thought that was a perfect first single. 'Tryin' to Love You' was a beautiful song, right up there with songs like 'No One Will Ever Love You' and 'The End of the Day', the songs that had been our bread-and-butter signature hits.

"Here's something I was thinking," Bucky said. "We recorded several live versions of 'Postcard from Mexico' during the tour and I thought it would be fun to put that on the record. We've really never done anything live on an album before and it's always one of your fans' favorites. Then you'd really only need to come up with two more songs."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I looked at Watty. "Watty, what do you think?" I trusted him more than anyone concerning my career. He had never given me bad advice, from the very first time I'd met him.

"Your fans do love it. It might be a good test for whether you want to do more of that. You should think about that. Rock artists do that a lot, live albums. You don't see that much with country artists. We could see what kind of traction you get with it."

When we were finally done with the meeting, we had mapped out the album, Deacon and I had agreed to try to write and record two more songs before the baby came, and we had started discussions on the next tour. Deacon and I had argued some about how soon we'd go back out on the road, but ultimately we had agreed on six months. I had stayed off the road with Maddie for a year, but I didn't think I needed to do that this time. We'd take both the girls with us and Haley would go as well.

As we rode back down the elevator, Deacon rubbed my shoulders. "Babe," I said, "before we go home, let's walk a little."

"You sure you're up for that?"

"Yeah, just to the first observation area on the bridge. Not too far."

So we walked down to the pedestrian bridge over the Cumberland River. I loved the view of the city from the bridge. We walked slowly, not talking, just holding hands and enjoying the warm day. As promised, we stopped at the first observation deck. I leaned back against Deacon and he wrapped his arms around me. He started talking, low and quiet in my ear.

"I remember the day you came to my house with Maddie," he said. "It was a clear day like today, bright sunshine, only it was cold. I'd been in that house by myself since before Halloween and all I could think about was you. I had made such a mess of my life, of our life. Every single minute of every single day was such a struggle. I had to fight myself every day. But that day I woke up and the sun was shining and it was the first day I really thought I could make it, that I could beat this thing." His breath hitched a little. "And then there was a knock on my door. You. I thought I was dreaming."

I leaned into him a little more and bent my arms at my elbows, grabbing on to his arms with my hands. I felt tears pricking at my eyes. "I remember thinking that you looked like you were in a trance."

"I couldn't believe you were there. I wasn't sure why you were and I didn't want to hope for anything. But there you were and my heart was about to bust, seeing you standing there, looking so beautiful." He pressed his lips against my hair. When he spoke again, his voice was breaking. "I still don't remember, Ray."

I really didn't know what to say. I wondered if he would ever forgive himself for that. I wondered if I would ever forgive myself for what happened after.

He took a deep breath. "I think that's what keeps me on track, as much as anything else. I don't ever want to not remember anything else that happens to you, Maddie or the baby. It's the absolute worst feeling ever, not remembering something that important." He squeezed me a little tighter. "I don't want Maddie to ever know that."

I shook my head. "There would never be a reason to tell her. We don't have to tell her any of that. All she needs to know is that we're together and we love each other and we love her and always have."

"I love you, Ray," he whispered.

"I love you, too, Deacon. So much." I leaned my head back on his shoulder. "Let's go home."

He let me go and took my hand and we walked back to the parking garage, got in the truck, and headed for home. When we got to the house and Deacon had parked the truck, I grabbed his arm before he could open the door. He turned to look at me.

"You know what I think? I think we need a new start, a new beginning." He gave me a confused look. I smiled at him. "Let's buy that house. Let's make fresh memories there."

He leaned in and kissed me hard. Then he smiled back at me. "I think that's a great idea. I'll call Joy."


	11. Chapter 11

_Just a warning – this chapter is a little more explicit._

I was looking forward to hearing Deacon play tonight. It was the end of September, but still hot in Nashville, so going out when I was nine months pregnant wasn't the most appealing thing, but I really wanted to get out of the house. Haley had come to babysit Maddie, so that Tandy could meet me at The Bluebird.

One of the things I hated about being pregnant, especially at nine months, was the wardrobe. Pants or skirts with those horrible stretchy tummy panels and big flouncy tops. Tandy had suggested those form-fitting tops, but that was just not me. And as much as I didn't like flouncy, I didn't like feeling material tight around my tummy section. I was wearing a sweet yellow sleeveless top that I did like. It had a nice flow to it, draping softly over my stomach with a nice twisted fabric detail around the neckline. I paired it with jeans and some cute Tory Burch ballet flats. Again I was grateful for the fact that, except for my stomach, I didn't look pregnant. I wasn't one of those women who seemed to get pregnant all over. It had been that way with Maddie and was true with this baby too. I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my hair, trying to decide if I wanted to put it up or leave it down. I smiled as I saw Deacon walk up behind me. He grabbed my arms and leaned in to kiss me on the neck. "Hey, babe," I said. "Are you ready to go?"

"You look so beautiful, Ray," he said softly.

I put the brush down and turned to face him, putting my arms around his neck. "I'm glad you think so," I said and rose up on my toes to kiss him. He put his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as he could. Feeling his lips on mine and our tongues battling each other sent quivers of pleasure rushing through my body. "Mm, I can't wait to get back home now," I murmured.

He chuckled. "Too bad we don't have any time. Anyway," and he nodded towards the living room, "Haley is here. It might be awkward." He took a step back and put his hands on either side of my stomach. After he took a deep breath, he looked at me with a hint of tears in his eyes. "I can't believe we're doing this. And that I got to be a part of all of it."

I felt a pang in my heart. Even though we had talked it all out and I knew he understood, it still hurt both of us that he had missed out on all this with Maddie. True, he had been in rehab during most of my pregnancy, but I had known I was pregnant before he left and the decisions that were made then still made me feel guilty. But I had been determined not to dwell on it, so I smiled and said, "Me too, babe. I can't wait for our new daughter to come."

* * *

We arrived at The Bluebird early and hung out in the back waiting for the early set to finish. Deacon had gotten a table for Tandy and me close to the songwriter area. I usually sat at the bar, but this time he'd made sure we had a table. I hoped there was a good crowd tonight.

"Rayna!" I turned and smiled when I saw Amy, the owner of The Bluebird. She walked up to me and took my hands in hers, looking me over. "I hope you're not planning to have that baby here tonight," she teased. I liked Amy a lot. She had always been a good friend to Deacon and me and she'd always made a place for Deacon, even when times were tough for him. She was an incredibly loyal person and had really done so much for new singers and songwriters in Nashville.

I laughed. "No, I have two weeks to go. Although in this heat, I'd be glad to see her come early."

"So it's another girl then."

I nodded. "Yes. And Deacon is ridiculously excited about it."

Amy laughed. "He always was good with the ladies. I know he'll be a formidable dad when they're teenagers. Have you picked out a name yet?"

Deacon walked up just then and put an arm around Amy's shoulders, giving her a quick hug. "Daphne," he said. "Maddie picked it out. Because she thinks this one's going to be a princess."

"I think she's going to be a tomboy," I said with a laugh. "But maybe if we name her Daphne she'll surprise us and be a sweet little princess after all."

Amy chuckled. "Well, I know she'll be a beauty. Based on your first, we know the two of you make beautiful babies." She reached in for a hug. "I know Deacon has a table for you tonight, so enjoy the show." And she was off.

Deacon put his arm around me and pulled me in. "You doing ok?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready to sit though." And as if on cue, Erika, Amy's second-in-command, came up to me and let me know that my table was available and she led me to it as Deacon went to get ready.

* * *

At the touch of a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Tandy. Erika greeted her, then stood up, wished me well, and went on about her business. Tandy walked around and sat in the seat Erika had left, leaning in to kiss me. She squeezed my arm. "Hey, babe," she said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

I grinned back at her. "Impossibly huge. I'm not completely sure why I came out tonight, but I was really feeling restless and needed the distraction."

Tandy leaned in. "Not getting any anymore, huh?" she whispered, with a wink. At the look on my face, her eyes widened. "Seriously? Still?"

I blushed. "We're not going to talk about this," I said.

She sat back and smiled. "I'm impressed, babe. Really impressed. With both of you."

Just then the songwriters that were performing that night came out, signaling the start of the show, and we thankfully had to be quiet, so no more of this kind of talk. Deacon sat in the seat that was directly across from our table and as he smiled at me, the thought ran through my head that even though I was nine months pregnant, feeling huge and uncomfortable, seeing that smile was all it took to start that white hot lightning rod of desire. In mere seconds, that delicious curl of want had settled in my core and I couldn't wait until I could satisfy it.

As I watched him interacting with the other three songwriters, I thought about how I had known when I was just sixteen years old that he was my soul mate. I wondered how many people could know that at such an early age. We had been together now for over fifteen years and it still felt as fresh and new as it had that very first day. We had been through so much during that time, more than most, and yet here we were, on the other side of all the pain and hurt and anger and despair, stronger than ever. Of course, it hadn't all been bad; there had been so much love and passion and so many good times, even when things seemed their darkest. I loved everything about this man – his beautiful blue eyes crinkling in the corners when he smiled, the way his face lit up when he did. His hands, calloused from years of playing the guitar, yet soft enough to thrill me with their touch and comfort our daughter when she needed it. His strength, both his physical strength and his emotional strength. I'd seen strength in him these last two thousand six days, where he fought his addictions and beat them. I loved nothing better than being wrapped up in his arms each night as he whispered how many days he'd won the battle. I loved what a great dad he'd turned out to be. Maddie adored him and he felt the same about her. Watching them together always warmed my heart. I rested my hand on my stomach and thought about how lucky our new daughter would be to have a father like Deacon. I couldn't stop smiling, as he stole glances at me every chance he got. This really had turned into a life that was good.

Deacon played mostly his songs that night, but he did sing "Changing Ground", which had been on my last album, and was one of our songs that was not a love song. He was the last singer in each of the rounds, so he got to finish the night. I was ready for the night to be over, not only because I was starting to get uncomfortable and tired, but because I was ready to get my husband home in bed with me. And then he did something that nearly undid me right there in The Bluebird Café.

"This is a brand new song," he said, "that I've never played before. I wrote it a couple months ago and have tinkered with it a little, but tonight is a good night to introduce it. As I think you've seen, Rayna Jaymes, the love of my life, is here tonight. And our second baby is due any minute, so it was a little touch and go about her being here." There was applause at that and Deacon grinned happily. He looked over at me and I smiled back at him. "I actually wrote this for her. Hope y'all like it."

That spiral of desire snaked back through me again as I kept my eyes on him. _Sometimes it feels like I'm so far away / Like everything I love has lost its place / When life gets the best of me / I just close my eyes and see / Fireflies dancing in the yard / Under a blanket of stars / Sound of that rusty old guitar / Playing songs we know / And all that I have to do / Is think one little thought of you / And I'm back home / I'm right back home._

My breath caught in my throat and tears stung my eyes. Tandy reached out for my hand and squeezed it. This was so very lovely and I was so overwhelmed with feelings.

_Work so long and hard to chase a dream / Wind up some place you don't wanna be / It's such a lonely road / Especially when you know / There's fireflies dancing in the yard / Under a blanket of stars / Sound of that rusty old guitar / Playing songs we know / And all that I have to do / Is think one little thought of you / And I'm back home / I'm right back home._

As he finished the song, there was huge applause. He acknowledged the room, but then his eyes landed on me, smiling and crying at the same time. My heart was so full I could hardly breathe. I couldn't wait for us to be alone so I could tell him how much this had meant to me and how much _he_ meant to me.

I waited impatiently after the show for Deacon to chat up the people who wanted to see him. He kept looking over at me, sitting there with Tandy, who was trying to keep me occupied, and he knew I was anxious to leave, so he got away as quickly as he could and came over to the table. I looked up at him. "You were wonderful tonight, babe. But I'm ready to go," I said.

He nodded. "Let's go then." He took my hand and helped me up. Tandy stood up and hugged first Deacon and then me before leaving. Deacon put his arm around my shoulders. "You feeling ok?"

I shrugged. "A little tired." Then I smiled. "I just really want to get home. If you know what I mean."

He kissed my cheek. "Oh, I definitely do," he whispered in my ear. "Let's get out of here." He took my hand and led me out and to the truck. Before he turned the key, he leaned over and kissed me and gave me a little preview of what was to come, leaving me a little breathless. Then he pulled back with a smug smile and started the truck, leaving me to sit with my need growing as we headed for home.

* * *

After Haley had left and after we had checked on a peacefully sleeping Maddie, Deacon took my hand and led me to our bedroom. He turned on a lamp in the corner of the room that put off a soft, low glow, as I closed the door and locked it. He came back to me and took my face in his hands, drew me closer, and gently kissed me. "Oh, baby, you're so damn beautiful," he breathed against my mouth.

I'm sure I wasn't much different from most women who were nine months pregnant, days away, really, from giving birth. I didn't particularly feel beautiful. I felt huge and heavy, not sexy in the least. But Deacon had a way of making me forget that. He could touch me everywhere, in ways that made me forget how pregnant I was and just made me want to press myself hard against him and made my toes curl with the exquisite fireworks that would shoot through me.

He looked at me, his eyes full of desire. I could feel it already. That little curl of need, like a tiny flower pushing through the dirt, opening up. I felt the heat between my legs, that feeling of heaviness that was so intoxicating. He reached up and put a strand of hair behind one of my ears and then leaned in and kissed me there. I put my hands on his waist and pushed myself against him, moaning as he continued to kiss me, as the heaviness grew more intense.

He stepped back then and started to undress me. First he lifted my top up and I raised my arms so he could pull it off. He slid his hands into the waistband of my jeans and pulled them over my stomach and then down around my ankles. I stepped out of them and stood there, in only my underwear, watching him slowly run his eyes down the length of me. Then he stepped closer and leaned in, reaching around my back and unhooking my bra. He discarded that and took in a sharp breath as he reached for my breasts, running his thumbs lightly over my nipples. My legs felt weak as he continued to stroke me and I moaned, pressing myself into his hands. He looked up at me again and I could see his need, but he just kept lightly stroking me until I reached up and covered his hands with mine. "Please, Deacon," I whispered hoarsely.

He just smiled and moved his hands down to my waist, then put his thumbs in the waistband of my panties and slowly slid them down. Then he stood back up and ran his fingers through my wetness. I rocked my hips, trying to signal to him to press them into me, but he just stroked back and forth until I thought I would lose my mind. I reached my hand down and felt him hard inside his jeans. I pressed my hand flat against him and stroked him up and down until he was moaning.

"Babe, I need you. Right now," I whispered and I squeezed gently. He groaned loudly and then slid his fingers inside me, as he kept his eyes on mine. I gasped and then bit my lip as I focused on his fingers moving in and out, swirling inside me, creating waves of pleasure. He watched me as I moaned and as I pressed down trying to increase the tension. He bit his lower lip, then leaned in and kissed me. When he pulled his fingers out, I whimpered.

He smiled, stepped back and pulled his shirt off, then unbuckled his belt, unzipped his jeans and pulled them off, all without breaking eye contact. I watched him with my mouth slightly open, breathing hard. Finally he took off his boxers, then moved back to take me in his arms. I could feel him hard against my stomach and I reached for him, sliding my hand up and down over him. He moaned, then leaned down and swirled his tongue over my breast and nipple, causing me to squeeze him harder and gasp with pleasure. Finally he stepped back and took my hand, leading me towards the bed. As we walked past the full length mirror, he stopped and turned me towards it, standing behind me. He leaned into my neck and reached around and ran his hands over my stomach. "God, Ray, you're gorgeous," he breathed into my ear. We stood there for a moment as he moved his hands up to cup my breasts and run his thumbs over my nipples again. I could feel him hard against my ass, but I was mesmerized by watching him touch me. As I watched him slide one hand down, over my stomach, then between my legs, I nearly lost it. He just lightly stroked me and I moaned. I watched myself put my hand over his and thought that I had never felt as turned on as I did right now.

Then I turned in his arms and whispered, "Take me to bed."

He led me over to the bed and helped me as I sat down. None of my movements these days were easy and I slowly and awkwardly laid down and turned on my side. Deacon was right behind me, pressing against me. "Are you ready, baby?" he murmured in my ear. I nodded. He balanced himself on his elbow and ran his hand slowly down my arm, while he leaned in and nipped me on the shoulder with his teeth. He went back up my arm and pulled my hair back and away from my neck, leaving little kisses there. I smiled and turned my head slightly so I could see his face. He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. He ran his fingers up and down my arm, over my hip, then made little circles over my stomach, ending by fondling my breast. He lingered there as I pushed my ass against him, moving my hips in circles, moaning with need.

He was in no hurry this night and, while I was more than ready for him, I found myself enjoying how he was taking his time with me. I got lost in all the sensations, from the movement of his fingers and hand to the hardness that was jutting into my lower back. I concentrated on the unrelenting throbbing I felt between my legs, both enjoying it and wishing he would satisfy my need. He slid his hand over my ass and slid his knee between my legs, opening me up enough so that he could slide his hand over me. He moaned as his fingers touched my wetness and I caught my breath, waiting for him to pleasure me. But he continued to tease, by just lightly running his hand back and forth over me. I ground my hips into him, feeling oh-so-close to the edge. Finally he slid two fingers in and I came instantly, moaning loudly into the pillow.

He ran his tongue lightly over and into my ear, then softly said, "I hope you have another one for me."

The intensity of my orgasm had surprised me and I was panting as I said, "Oh, yeah, babe. I do."

He lifted my leg and pulled it behind his hips. I waited for him to enter me, but he went back to stroking me, just barely letting the tips of his fingers slide in. He leaned into my ear. "Oh, baby, you are so ready for me." His voice was deep and husky with his own need.

"Oh, my God, Deacon, I need you inside me now," I begged.

"Like this?" his whispered, his fingers sliding in just a bit more. And out. And back in.

I could focus on nothing more than what I was feeling. "No," I growled. I reached behind me and grabbed the length of him, moving myself so that he could feel how wet I was. He groaned loudly, then swiftly grabbed my ass and moved me so that he could push into me, hard and fast. I gasped from the suddenness and the sensation of being pulled open and fully and completely filled. He maintained that slow, patient stroking even now, moving in and out of me slowly and deliberately. I wanted to wait, but I couldn't. The waves of pleasure rolled over me and he pushed himself all the way in so that I was throbbing around him. I buried my face in the pillow as I groaned over and over with the sweet release. And then I felt him let go, moaning against my shoulder. I laid in his arms and focused on the feeling of him still inside me as we caught our breath. Finally he pulled out and then wrapped his arms around me, his breathing heavy in my ear.

"Can you imagine what our girls would think about the fact that we can't keep our hands off each other?" I asked, a little breathlessly.

Deacon chuckled. "They will hate it."

"Will?"

He nibbled on my earlobe. "Darlin', I can't imagine ever not wanting to make love to you. And doing it a lot. It's going to be hard to hide it from them. At least that we're hot for each other."

I smiled. "Well, I like the idea of doing it a lot. But you don't think they'll be glad we are so into each other?"

He shook his head. "Are you kidding? No kid wants to know his or her parents are having sex. They don't want to even think about it."

I thought about Deacon's protective nature when it came to our girls. "Then how are they going to learn about what a wonderful thing loving someone else is?" I teased.

"My daughters aren't going to have sex."

I laughed. "Deacon, that's crazy. You don't want your daughters to have sex, but you want to have a lot of sex with their mama."

"Not the same thing." He kissed my neck. "Once they leave home, I guess I can't do anything about it, but I sure don't have to know about it."

I smiled to myself. Poor Maddie and Daphne. They were going to have a tough go of it when it came time to date. He was lazily running one hand up and down my arm, nuzzling my neck. I turned my head so I could see his face. "Tell me the story," I said. "About the song."

He smiled. "Remember that week we went to the cabin? After Des Moines?"

"Mm hmm."

"The first night we were there, when we helped Maddie chase fireflies?"

I laughed. I hadn't done much chasing, just trying to keep up with the two of them. "I remember. Maddie was squealing with laughter."

Deacon chuckled. "Yes, she was. And then we sat on the porch and sang to her."

"Yeah." That had been sweet. She loved for us to sing together and she had sat in between us that night, leaning against me and gently patting my stomach. We had sung to her until she fell asleep and then Deacon had gently picked her up and put her to bed. Then he came back out and we'd made out like teenagers on the porch swing, our hands down each other's pants. I smiled thinking about what that had led to.

"So anyway, I guess it was the next day and you and Maddie were taking a nap together. I stood at the door and watched the two of you and I thought about everything I could have missed." His voice caught at the end and I nestled closer. He pulled me in tighter and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I could feel his tears. "I went outside and wrote that for you. Both of you."

I was crying too. "Oh, babe, I love you so much."

"Thank you, Rayna. For believing in me." He kissed me again. "Two thousand and six," he said quietly.

"I'm so proud of you, Deacon."

I had so much that I never thought I'd have. The love of my life. Our daughter. I gently stroked my stomach, thinking about our soon-to-be daughter. Deacon caught my hand and we lay there quietly for a long time before we finally fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A little early Valentine's gift!**_

Daphne Jaymes Claybourne was born on a warm early October afternoon. The weather had turned from hot to a typically pleasant Tennessee fall in the days leading up to her birth. As long and hard as giving birth to Maddie was, Daphne was quick and easy. We had originally thought we'd have enough time to drop Maddie off at Tandy's on the way to the hospital, but, not surprisingly, Miss Daphne did not want to wait that long. So Tandy met us as we drove up to the hospital and took a disappointed Maddie off to the waiting room, while Deacon got me checked in and we immediately headed for delivery.

Also not surprisingly, she came a week early, like she was dying to get out and see what trouble she could get into. I teased Deacon that it was because of the lusty lovemaking of the night before. Maybe it was because I knew we'd have to wait for six weeks after the baby came to have sex again, but I couldn't get enough that night. The intensity had been over the top and, I think, surprised both of us. Deacon had looked horrified when I said that and kept apologizing, until I told him it was just her time to be born. But he still seemed extra concerned that it meant something would go wrong and I don't think he relaxed until Dr. Norris pronounced her perfect.

As dark as Maddie was, Daphne was fair and light, with little tufts of red gold hair. And I would have sworn that, instead of screaming her displeasure with the lights and the voices, she squealed with delight. Deacon had the biggest smile on his face as he held our daughter, after she'd been all cleaned up and we were in my room. I remembered how afraid he'd been to hold Maddie at first and now he seemed so comfortable. I was so happy he was here for this.

He brought her over and gently placed her in my arms, then slid onto the bed to lay next to us. I turned to look at him and he leaned down and kissed me. "We did good, Ray," he said softly.

Tears sprang up in my eyes and I smiled up at him. "Yeah, we did."

"She looks just like you." He reached out and ran his fingers over her hair. "She has her mama's red hair. She's gonna be a terror." He smiled.

I touched his face. "We already knew that. She was always dancing or turning cartwheels or something. I think she's not going to give us a minute's peace."

Deacon looked at me, a serious look on his face. He cupped my cheek and stroked it with his thumb. "You know, I didn't know I wanted all this until I had it. I didn't have this growing up and I didn't know this was what family was all about. But you and Maddie, and now Daphne, that's what makes it all good." He took a deep breath and worked his lip. "This just feels exactly right."

I smiled up at him. "Yeah, it does. This is the way it's supposed to be." I tilted my face up to his and he rewarded me with a kiss filled with promise and love. When I'd had a minute to catch my breath, I smiled again. "You'd better go get Maddie and Aunt Tandy. I'm sure they're on the edge of their seats waiting to see Princess Daphne."

Deacon laughed and then hopped off the bed, leaning down to kiss Daphne on the top of her head and then me again. Then he ran out of the room and down the hall. I smiled to myself and then looked down at my new baby, so pretty and sweet. She already looked like she had a smile on her face and her tiny eyes crinkled just a little, like her daddy's. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. I could not imagine being happier.

* * *

Deacon came back with Maddie and Tandy. Maddie came running over to the bed, with Tandy trailing behind her, lifting her up and letting her sit next to me. Deacon stood against the wall, watching us with a smile on his face.

Maddie snuggled close to me, then reached over and very gently patted Daphne's head. Daphne made a little noise and Maddie giggled. "Mama, she likes me," she said with a smile.

I smiled back at her. "Of course she does. You're her big sister. She _loves_ you."

"Can I hold her?" She reached out her little hands towards Daphne and made grasping motions.

I shook my head. "Not yet. When we get home, we'll let you hold her." I could see Deacon looking a little dismayed and I mouthed "it's okay."

Maddie's face fell. "Okay," she said sadly. "But when will my baby be home?"

"Tomorrow," I told her.

"Okay." Maddie reached out and ran her hand oh so gently over Daphne's arm, again and again.

Tandy was standing next to us, leaning on the bed rail. She smiled down at me. "Oh, Rayna, she looks like us," she said. "With her red hair."

I grinned. "I know. I hope she keeps it."

"She's just gorgeous." She glanced over at Deacon. "Y'all do make beautiful babies." She leaned down and hugged me, then reached for one of Daphne's hands. Daphne made her little noise again and I could have sworn she was smiling.

Maddie looked up at Tandy, a huge smile on her face. "She likes you, Aunt Tandy!" she cried.

Tandy smiled at Maddie. "Yay!" Then she walked over towards Deacon. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as she reached in to hug him, then whisper in his ear. Deacon listened, then smiled at her and said something to her. I was curious about that. Tandy had very gradually warmed up to Deacon, but I always felt like she held back on giving her full support.

"Maddie, are you ready to go home with Aunt Tandy?" Deacon asked.

Maddie frowned. "No. I wanna stay here."

"You can't stay, baby," I said soothingly. "We'll see you tomorrow, though."

She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "No. I wanna stay with Daphne."

Tandy walked over. "Come on, Maddie, I've got hot chocolate and marshmallows. And movies!" She reached for Maddie.

Maddie turned her body away and got closer to me. "No!" she said firmly.

I leaned down to her. "Maddie, you can't stay here. It's a hospital and little girls can't stay here. You can go with Aunt Tandy and then we'll see you tomorrow." I hoped she didn't throw a tantrum.

"We'll have fun, Maddie," Tandy said.

"No!" Maddie said again, shaking her head. "Daddy will take me."

I looked up at Deacon. He raised his eyebrows and shoved his hands in his pockets. I was looking forward to him staying overnight. Even though all we could do was cuddle, I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. I looked back down at my daughter. "Maddie, I think Aunt Tandy was looking forward to hot chocolate with you," I said encouragingly.

Big tears started to roll down her cheeks. "Daddy will take me," she said softly, her voice quivering. I knew she was tired. It had been a long day, for all of us.

Deacon walked over then and picked her up. She curled into his shoulder, covering her face. "I'll take her home," he said. He looked at Tandy. "I'm sorry."

Tandy shook her head. "Don't worry. It's okay. I think she just needs her daddy tonight. I'll see y'all tomorrow." She leaned down and kissed me, then leaned over me to kiss Daphne. "Let me know if you need anything," she said to me. "I love you, babe." She put her hand on Maddie's back. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart."

Maddie's little muffled voice said, "Bye."

Tandy patted Deacon on the shoulder and left. Deacon looked at me, his eyes sad, and said, "I'll take Maddie home. We'll be back tomorrow." He leaned down and kissed me.

I put my hand on the back of his neck and took his bottom lip gently in my teeth. He opened his mouth and covered mine, kissing me fully and completely. Then he cupped my cheek with his free hand and rubbed his thumb over it. He worked his lip a bit, then said, "I love you, Ray."

"I love you too, babe," I said softly.

He reached down and rubbed Daphne's cheek with his thumb, then took in a deep breath. "We'll be back in the morning," he said.

I smiled, trying not to cry. Which was silly. It was just one night. One night after spending every single night of the last four plus years in his arms. And clearly Maddie needed him. But I missed him already. "We'll be ready," I said.

Deacon looked down at Maddie. She looked exhausted. "Bye, Mama," she said. "Bye, Daphne."

"Bye, sweet girl," I said.

And then Deacon turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

Late that night, I was alone in my hospital room with Daphne sleeping in the little crib by the bed. I was trying hard not to get emotional about Deacon not being there. I knew Maddie needed him, but it had been a very long time since I'd had to sleep alone. I would miss having his arms around me. But I was actually glad to have a little time to my own thoughts. As I had learned after having Maddie, having a new baby was a lot of work and it would be a while before I had some me time again. So it was good to have this small window of time to think.

It was all so different this time. When Maddie was born, I'd been such a mess. My emotions had been in an uproar. I had been so happy to see my beautiful baby girl, but my heart had been so broken thinking about Deacon and all that he was missing. The reality that I had agreed to lie to the world and say that Maddie was Teddy's daughter had weighed on me almost from the moment she was born. I should have been happy during that time, but I was miserable.

I still appreciated the sacrifice Teddy was willing to make back then, although it was truly a deal with the devil. As the days wore on, the heaviness of the lie had dragged me down. It was hard to really enjoy my new baby when I was so overwhelmed with hurt and pain for what I was doing to Deacon, without him even knowing it. When I had finally come to the only conclusion I could and told Deacon the truth, what happened next was so predictable. It was only after time had gone by that I realized just how strong Deacon had been in the face of all of it. Instead of going back to his old habits, he'd stood firm in standing strong with me. He had fought Teddy for Maddie, even though it turned out to be a fight more easily won than it might have been. And he had really never blamed me for all that led up to that, although he had every right to.

Teddy had tried his best to be as obnoxious as possible during the divorce and the fight over Maddie. I was grateful that I didn't have to include him in Maddie's life, once the paternity results were made public. It had caused me some pain, but that was long gone. Daddy had never forgiven me although he had not completely turned his back on his granddaughter. Although I didn't feel a strong need to repair a relationship that had already been difficult even before Maddie, I did want him to know his granddaughters. Tandy had been pissed at me for a while, but that sisterly bond had eventually gotten her over it. She might never be Deacon's strongest supporter, but she was slowly accepting the fact that he was the love of my life. And Deacon did his best to show her how much he'd changed. They were both making an effort.

I gingerly got out of bed and stood next to the crib, watching Daphne sleep. She looked like a little angel and I smiled to myself wondering if she really would be. When she was inside me, she had never stopped moving, and I suspected she'd be a little whirlwind of a girl. I reached down and softly touched her little cheek. Just then my cell phone rang. I lunged for it in hopes that it wouldn't wake Daphne, but she just took a deep breath and settled back down.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Hey, baby." I smiled at Deacon's voice. "You ok?"

"Yeah," I said. "I was just watching Daphne sleep."

"Oh, no, I didn't wake her up calling you, did I?"

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. "No, she's still sleeping."

"I hated leaving you. You looked so sad. I wanted to stay."

"I know. I wanted you to stay too, but I think, as excited as Maddie's been about the new baby, she's going to need a little extra love right now. Especially daddy love."

"Well, she couldn't stop talking about Daphne and what she was going to do with her when she got her home, right up to the point that she conked out in the back seat." He laughed softly. "She's still dead to the world."

I laughed softly. "I hope she stays this excited." I took a breath. "So what did Tandy say to you?"

"Um, she just thanked me for standing by you and for being a good dad." He was silent for a second. "She said she'd probably misjudged me and that she wanted me to know she fully supported me. And us."

I felt tears spring up and my heart was full with love for my sister. "Oh, babe, I'm so glad. I knew she'd come around."

"Yeah." He paused. "I'll be there in the morning to pick you up."

"We can't wait to be home." I was silent for a moment. "Thank you, babe."

"For what?"

"For everything. For loving me, for loving Maddie, for being strong for us. For giving us Daphne."

Deacon's voice sounded emotional when he finally responded. "I didn't do anything special. I'm just glad we worked it out. I can't imagine being with anyone but you, Ray."

"Me too."

"Two thousand fourteen."

Tears spilled down my cheeks. "I'm so proud of you, Deacon. And I love you so much."

"I love you too, Ray."

After we hung up, I looked down at Daphne and thought about the words of the song that Deacon had written for me all those years ago, before we really even knew each other. _Two arms around me, heaven to ground me / And a family that always calls me home / Four wheels to get there, enough love to share / And a sweet, sweet, sweet song / At the end of the day, Lord I pray / I have a life that's good._

I smiled to myself. We really did have a life that was good.

* * *

The next morning I got dressed. I went over to the crib and was surprised to see that Daphne was awake. I picked her up and then went and sat in the chair by the window. "Hey, baby girl," I said to her, as she made little noises. "I'm so glad you're finally here. Your daddy and your big sister will be here soon and we can all go home." Suddenly I felt emotional. "You know, this is a big day for your daddy," I said, feeling my breath hitch with my tears. "He wasn't there when your sister was born, so this is very special for him. I hope that you'll always think he's the most special man in your life, because he loves you so much. He's gone through a lot to be here, most of which you'll never know. You'll just know how much he loves you and how wonderful he thinks you are and how he wants you to have the best life."

Just then I heard steps coming down the hall, one set that was clearly trying to hurry. When Deacon and Maddie burst into the room, I smiled happily at them. Maddie pulled her hand free from Deacon's and threw herself at me. "Mama, let's go!" she squealed. Then she reached out to pat Daphne on the head.

Deacon leaned down to kiss me and then brushed the tears on my cheeks away with his thumb. He frowned. "Is everything ok?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm just happy. Post-baby hormones." Just then the nurse arrived with the wheelchair and we all left the room and headed for home.

* * *

I was so glad that we had decided to push back actually moving into the new house until after Daphne was born. It was a special feeling to bring her home to our little bungalow in East Nashville, where I had first brought Maddie to Deacon and where we had worked hard to create the life that we now had. It was right for her to spend the first few weeks of her life in this cozy home. I felt tears pricking my eyes as we walked up the steps together. I was still sad to be leaving this place, with all its memories, but I was also excited about the new house and moving on to our next chapter there.

We had been at the new house the day before Daphne was born, so that Maddie could see what we'd done with her room and with the nursery. Daphne's room was all in pink and white, with a princess mural where the crib would be. Maddie had gasped, then turned to us and smiled. "It's so pretty," she cried.

"Do you think Daphne will like it?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she said, her voice soft and dreamy.

I scrunched up my shoulders and smiled at her, then turned to Deacon. He leaned in and kissed me, wrapping his arm around my back. I looked back at Maddie. "Well, sweet girl, let's go look at your room." She skipped over to me and took my hand. Deacon took my other hand and we walked together to the room that would be Maddie's. I couldn't wait for her to see it.

When we walked in, she gasped, then dropped my hand and walked in slowly. The room was a soft yellow, but what dazzled her were the murals. They were Deacon's idea and I thought they were perfect. Sheet music in soft pastel colors had been painted on the walls, with the words to "A Life That's Good" and "Back Home" included. Pink and blue guitars on stands were painted in the corners. It was the perfect room for a little girl that loved music.

"Do you like it, Maddie?" Deacon asked.

She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his legs, burying her face against his leg. "I love it!" she cried. He reached down and picked her up and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. "I love it!"

He grinned at her, then looked at me. "It was all your mama's idea."

"I'm glad you like it, baby," I said to her, even though it had not been my idea at all. As I was standing there, I was conscious of my back aching. More and more over the last week, I'd complained that my back hurt. And I was having those pre-labor contractions that I remembered from before Maddie was born. I walked over to the window seat in Maddie's room and sat down, breathing in and out slowly and rubbing my back.

Deacon looked worried. "Are you ok?" he asked.

I shrugged. "My back hurts," I said. He put Maddie down and she ran over to run her fingers over the wall murals. He came and sat next to me. He put his hand on the small of my back and rubbed gently. I arched my back a little as he continued to rub and he took my hand in his other hand and squeezed it gently. "Thanks, babe, that feels better," I said. I closed my eyes and concentrated on his hand rubbing concentric circles over my back. The rhythm of his movements and the warmth of his hand on my back started little curls of desire running through me. I was suddenly aware that I was aroused. "Oh," I said, taking in a sharp breath, and opened my eyes.

Deacon frowned and stopped the rubbing. "Am I hurting you, baby?" he asked.

I looked at him with a smile. "Oh, no," I said. "That feels amazingly good."

He widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows. Then he gave me a small smile and leaned in to kiss me, running his tongue over my lips until I opened my mouth against his. The tingling feeling started moving through me and I moaned in the back of my throat. Then all of a sudden, I remembered where we were and that our daughter was in the room with us, and pulled back, breathing hard. I flicked my eyes over towards Maddie, who wasn't paying any attention to us, and Deacon let out a little chuckle, and we had promised each other with our eyes that we'd finish that later.

I brought myself back to the present, thinking again about the wonderful memories we'd had in this house and the ones we would create in the new one with our girls. Deacon opened the front door and I walked in. I took a deep breath and then held Daphne up so that she could see the house. "Welcome home, precious girl," I said to her.

* * *

Later that day, after we had gotten settled and Tandy and Daddy had been and gone, we finally let Maddie sit on the couch in between the two of us and Deacon gently placed Daphne in her lap. I had to laugh as Maddie sat with her arms crooked like a couple of hooks and her eyes wide with amazement as Daphne squirmed. She instinctively moved her hands to pull her in, but Deacon kept a hand under Daphne's head and laid the other on Maddie's shoulder, as though to offer some protection.

Maddie looked up at me and smiled. "I'm holding Daphne, Mama," she said happily.

"Yes, you are," I said. "You're being a good big sister."

She sighed. "I love her." And she leaned down and kissed Daphne's forehead. I looked at Deacon and we smiled at each other. This was the best day.

When I took Daphne back, Maddie curled up against me. Deacon got up and went to get his guitar. He came back and sat on the coffee table across from us. He started by just playing some random chords and then he launched into "A Life That's Good." He smiled at us as he sang. I felt the tears run down my cheeks. Maddie looked entranced. And Daphne slept peacefully. It was all just perfect.

That night, when the girls were in bed, and we were curled up together, I told Deacon how perfect that had been, how perfect it all was. How much I loved him and how much I hated having to wait six weeks to have sex again. He just pulled me closer and kissed me on the forehead. "Two thousand fifteen," he whispered.

"I'm proud of you, babe," I whispered back. "And I love you. So much."

**THE END**

_**Although this is the end of this story, it's definitely not the end to Deacon and Rayna's story. In my imagining, they went on with their AU life, loving each other, making music, and living passionately with their daughters Maddie and Daphne. In this life, there was no lie to overcome, no Stacey or Megan or Liam or Luke. There was no car crash and no fall off the wagon for Deacon. It truly was a life that was good. To all of you that loved this story and read it, reviewed it, followed it, and favorited it, thanks. I enjoyed writing it for you.**_


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